Chapter 585 Two more

"Our communication is indeed very problematic." Xia Yu's emotions became agitated, "She doesn't seem to understand what I said at all. I told her this, she said that, but! She still doesn't feel that she understands anything. Question, you also said that I am stubborn, can you figure it out? Who is stubborn?!”

   "The ideas between generations are different."

   "It's not just this." The expression on Xia Yu's face became a little hurt, "I think my mother-in-law often opposes me for the sake of opposing me, she doesn't like me."

"A lot of mothers-in-law don't like daughters-in-law." Ning Youguang was silent for a while and said, "When I was watching TV before, a host said, 'Mother-in-law is not obliged to like her daughter-in-law. "The mother-in-law likes her daughter-in-law. It should be the daughter-in-law's ability, not the mother-in-law's obligation. After all, she has never given birth to you, and you are not a piece of meat that fell from her body." I think what he said is true It makes sense. However, you should not doubt yourself. Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you can get along well, very well, but if you can't get along, then play your role and learn to keep a distance from each other. 'There is no one between people Who must like, especially from the mother-in-law's point of view, she was originally the closest person to her son, and then the daughter-in-law showed up and took away the son. Many mother-in-law's mentality can't be changed, and they will not like their daughter-in-law. If the daughter-in-law is tossing her again My eldest son, she is even more disliked by her daughter-in-law. So keep a distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, respect each other, and live in harmony. Don't think that she can treat you the same as her son, it's impossible, mother and daughter It is necessary to maintain a proper distance when getting along with each other, and for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, don’t expect too much.”

   "Sometimes, her excessive intervention really hindered the normal life of our small family. What should we do?" Xia Qu.

   "Make good use of your husband." Ning Youguang said, "Your mother-in-law doesn't listen to you, does she listen to your husband?"

   "It sounds pretty good."

   "That's it." Ning Youguang said, "It's the stupid girl who is facing off against her mother-in-law, and the smart girl usually hides behind her husband and sets up a chess formation, you know?"

   Silly girl Xia Yan scratched her head sadly.

   She is straight-minded and used to say anything, so she always ends up making herself very angry and at a disadvantage.

   "How do you make a chess formation behind your husband?"

"Don't bring up any problems you have with your mother-in-law on a daily basis, but talk to your husband later, talk about what you think needs to be adjusted, and let your husband talk to his mother after talking." Ning Youguang said, "Since If your mother-in-law doesn't listen to you, then don't tell her, find someone she is willing to listen to and tell her."

   "I'll try." Xia Yan thought her suggestion was good.

  Although she has decided to implement the advice given by Ning Youguang, Xia Yu is still worried, "If there is still no way to resolve the conflict between me and my mother-in-law, what should she do if she still wants to interfere in the child's affairs?"

Ning Youguang thought about it, and felt that he still had to solve Xia Yu's problem from a fundamental point of view, "Then you need to stand as one at home no matter where you are at home, hello, hello, hello everyone. Think about it from the point of view.”

   "Like what?" Xia Yan asked seriously.

"For example, do you think the baby is your child now, right? So whenever your mother-in-law arranges some complementary foods for the child that you think are inappropriate, or uses some inappropriate parenting methods to raise your child, then you will not Acknowledging it, generating emotions, and then having a conflict with her, right?" Ning Youguang explained Xia Yu carefully.

"right."

"During this process, your disapproval of everything your mother-in-law has done stems from what she did to your children. Remember, 'your' children." Ning Youguang explained it word by word. Xia Yun's analysis was crushed to pieces, and she opened it and said, "If your mother-in-law treats other people's children in the same way, would you think there is a problem? Would you be angry?"

  Xia Yan was stunned, "I won't be angry, maybe I won't care."

"The core of the problem is here." Ning Youguang said, "Any conflict between you and your mother-in-law is because you have a 'me' child for your son, and because it is a 'me' child, so It's wrong for her to do that, it's inappropriate, it's not good, everything you judge against her is to protect the child of 'I', if you remove the word 'I', your mother-in-law will use her The way of raising is just a child, not your child, and you don't know whose child, you will not feel that everything she does is wrong at all, when you think that everything she does is okay, you talk to her All the contradictions and conflicts between you will be gone, you will naturally get along harmoniously, and you will see each other pleasing to the eye, right? In the same way, when it comes to facing your husband, you can also change it this way. Think about it."

  Xia Yan listened carefully and felt that Ning Youguang was right, but it seemed wrong.

"This question should not be thought of like this. My son is my son, and my husband is my husband. This is a fact that cannot be changed. As long as my son is still my son, my husband is still my husband. , my mother-in-law doesn't change her way of doing things, and there will never be harmony between us."

Ning Youguang could understand what Xia Yu didn't understand, so he could only continue to say, "Okay, then I'll tell you now, your child is not your child, he just came to this world through you to experience his life, he It's not yours, if you don't agree with this, then, no matter in the past or in the future, whenever you encounter any problems related to your child, you will stand on the "me" point of view, then you will educate the child only from you. Think in terms of perspective, right?"

   "Yes." Xia Yan nodded.

"So, whether it is the problem of raising the baby now or the problem of educating the baby in the future, as long as you choose to think about everything related to him from your perspective, then your thinking will be limited to your own perspective, but you want to Think, if this child is not yours, he is yours It will take into account the thoughts of everyone in the family, and will think about discussing with them a plan that the whole family thinks is right, right? Instead of what you think is good, how good, you just do it, and in the end it is not as good as it is. If you want other members of the family, you have a conflict with them."

  Ning Youguang saw Xia Yu's expression calm down, and continued to talk to her. 1314

   (end of this chapter)