Xie Qing was numb for a long time, and finally realized that he was in tears.

It feels strange.

He thought slowly, he still sheds tears, doesn't he?

Too cowardly.

He thought.

Sad.

He is thirty-three years old, why would a man of this age be forced to this point? He doesn't like to have any weak labels on himself. He always wants to be a strong elder who can give people an infinite sense of trust, but it's just one night, just one night.

At this moment, he suddenly felt infinitely exhausted. He seemed to have walked a long, long way and persisted alone for a long time. The thorns have been removed, so that the people he protects can set foot on a smooth road after he leaves.

He wanted to teach them how to keep going.

As a reliable brother.

But in the eyes of the younger generation, he became a servant of Israel and a homosexual who shamelessly entangled with boys.

In the eyes of the younger generation, he became a lewd hypocrite who could play at will.

Xie Qingcheng was hugged by He Yu and did not lift his hand to free him. He was calm and terrifying, so calm that He Yu dared not go crazy again. In the end, before the tears were dry, he said almost numbly, "Let go, He Yu."

"...I know you like me, I thought I could control your feelings. I overestimated myself. I didn't pull you up, but I fell with you...I should know The day you like me, stay away from your side. I thought I could let you down slowly, but in fact I just let you sink deeper and deeper and gave you unnecessary hope. "

I even got myself into it.

"I'm too conceited."

"I made mistakes in judgment time and time again, and hurt you time and time again. It's my fault that I've come to this point."

He Yu shook his head, already crying.

Xie Qingcheng slowly rolled his eyes and set his eyes on his face, but there was still no focus in his eyes.

"...you seem to be more sad than happy when you are with me. Before, you almost never cried, but now you always cry in front of me."

He Yu wiped away the tears and said dumbly: "No, Brother Xie. I...I am very happy every day I am with you, I..."

"Then you are like this, are you still happy?"

“…”

"We always have to face this day, He Yu." Xie Qingcheng's voice was like a pool of stagnant water, without any waves, "Think about it, I am a divorced, Man thirteen years older than you, I was never gay. I was…”

He paused for a moment, then gritted his back molars, and then struggled to say what he had humiliated himself before.

"I had that relationship with you because I was drunk by you and lost my head, and then it slowly became what I am today. Do you remember?"

He Yu seemed to be slapped hard, and he couldn't say anything.

"Do you think I'll accept you?"

In front of He Yu.

"You know, after that night with you in the clubhouse, I kept having nightmares, I woke up every day feeling so sick, I was a man... He Yu, I'm a **** man! I didn't send you in because I couldn't hold my face, I'm not gay."

He Yu's eyes were scarlet, but her eyes were wet: "Then do you think I am?"

“…”

"Do you think I am, Brother Xie?"

He held him and kept asking him this.

"Do you think I am..."

The voice was so helpless, so weak.

Xie Qingcheng doesn't want to listen anymore.

He never thought of reversing the old account with He Yu before, those injuries he suffered, he always covered with self-respect to prevent He Yu from seeing his scars and blood.

And now he has to get him out.

Although he has experienced so many lives and deaths, he no longer wants to regret the mistakes He Yu made when he poured a glass of wine, but he also had to expose those wounds to He looked and forced him to leave.

"Are you?...You are." Finally, Xie Qingcheng slowly propped up and sat up, he pushed He Yu away, using the hand that barely exerted any strength hand.

With red eyes, he sorted out his clothes, as if at the same time, he sorted out his embarrassment tonight, and the troops were in chaos.

He took a deep breath and said to him in the calmest and most determined voice: "I don't know if you used to be, but now you are gay, and I still am not."

"I was thinking, we are both men. There is no relationship between two men even if they are asleep... You want to ask me why I slept with you - then I will answer you - Later, I was numbing myself with such a self-defeating mentality, and I made mistakes with you again and again. It was me who lost my **** head, not like you. Do you understand?"

These words he hadn't said before, and those words he didn't plan to say later, all of them were said at this moment, like a kick in the heart of the young man.

He realized that if he was afraid of He Yu's illness, if he blindly said things that didn't hurt people, or even blamed himself, then He Yu would never let it go.

He finally said hoarsely: "Now I have decided to end it. Let's turn the chapter. Will it be possible to turn the chapter? Do you want me to teach you?"

He Yu mourned: "Brother..."

“…”

"I can't turn the page...I really like you...I know we have a lot of bad memories...but can you tell me...is there any way we can start over... any idea…"

Xie Qingcheng's expression was so ruthless, but the end of his eyes were still wet. He looked at He Yu for a while and said, "...No."

"No, He Yu. I don't need your compensation or your apology. I told you about the clubhouse, not for anything, just to remind you that I don't care at all. It's impossible to fall in love with a man. If you really feel guilty about that past, I only ask you one thing."

“…”

"From now on, please take care of yourself, don't hurt yourself, don't hurt others, try your best, live well, and be a good person. Then, please - stay away from me far better."

He paused.

"This is the greatest kindness you can give me."

“…”

"Be quiet for a while."

“…brother…”

"I'm leaving."

This dormitory, he doesn't want to keep it at all, he is too uncomfortable, he needs to go back to a place that can be called "home" to curl up and heal.

Although he has no parents, his sister will leave home.

But he still has a small house in Moyu Lane, which is where he can finally rest and hide to comfort himself.

After he finished speaking, he pushed the door and walked out.

"Thank you...Thank you!"

He Yu woke up like a dream, staggered to catch up, trying to grab his hand.

But Xie Qingcheng looked back at him in the aisle, and he said, "Do you really want to continue persecuting me and yourself?"

“…”

"I said we will always have this day, He Yu."

"You should put it down."

The moonlight shone diagonally, he was on one side of the aisle, He Yu was on the other side, a little moonlight poured in from the side-opening window grille.

Xie Qingcheng stared at He Yu for a while, his vision blurred day by day, so that he could not see He Yu's expression clearly even by the moonlight. He turned around and left.

This time, He Yu did not catch up.

Only when he reached the stairs, He Yu shouted, "Xie Qingcheng."

The voice seemed to be bloody, choked and choked, like the wailing of a wolf dog who was at a loss after going crazy.

Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes and did not look back. When he walked down the steps, He Yu shouted again: "Xie Qingcheng!"

The voice was a little louder than before, a little more desperate, as if he wanted to turn him back, even if he just stopped.

Xie Qingcheng seems to be colder than ice and harder than iron, he still didn't even give him half a point to pause.

Xie Qingcheng finally disappeared at the corner. After the empty aisle, the last voice came faintly: "Xie Qingcheng..."

Injured, floating faintly from the dead body.

Xie Qingcheng sealed his heart, like a soulless puppet, and left this long and empty corridor without looking back.

He is gone.

He Yu lowered his head and slowly curled up, as if he had been stabbed by a blunt object. He choked, hugged himself, and fell on the dirty doorstep...

The chest hurts badly again.

It really hurts, the kind of pain he has never felt before.

He raised his eyes and looked at the direction where Xie Qingcheng was leaving, as if even his pupils were red.

"Xie Qingcheng..."

He shivered, hugged himself, and muttered absently…

He is so uncomfortable, the monitoring tape is completely red, he needs medicine urgently... He wants medicine... He can't let him look down on... medicine... medicine...!

He rushed into Xie Qingcheng's dormitory, howling piercingly. While he was trying to restrain himself, he was about to be driven crazy by strong emotions. He goes to pour water... He takes the medicine he's been carrying with him these days...

He Yu was so devastated that he didn't even notice that behind the pillar he had never seen, there was a man standing all the time, his expression seemed more numb and painful than his—

It's Chen slow.

Chen slow did not leave.

Because he was worried about Xie Qingcheng, he never left, but hid behind the pillars in the corridor outside the dormitory. So he saw such a strong entanglement between them, and heard all the conversations between Xie Qingcheng and He Yu.

Chen slow stood there with cold hands and feet, as if the soul had been taken away from the body.

Chen slow looked down at his trembling hands...

He was the one who met him first.

But because of his pure kindness, gentleness, and forbearance...all missed...all missed!

He raised his head, unwillingness and pain melted his heart, his eyes were already blood red.