Six years ago.

The lonely house.

No laughter, no company.

Although the servants at home prepared cakes for He Yu according to the instructions of He Jiwei and Lu Zhishu, but He Yu did not eat them. On his birthday, his parents were away, and he was in Yanzhou with his younger brother. They said that there was a very important client to talk about today, and they could only see if there was time to catch the plane back after the talk was over.

He also doesn't have many friends, and most of his classmates are polite and distant. It would be too tense to invite them to the birthday party.

On that day, Xie Qingcheng was not in Shanghai either. He had a meeting, and he went on a business trip as Xie Xue asked in his text message.

, framed by the torrential rain outside.

When-when-when-

The big clock in the villa rang every hour, and every time it struck the time accurately on the clock face.

From afternoon, to dusk, to nightfall.

"Master...don't wait, Mr. He and Mr. Lu told me that I won't be back today..." The butler couldn't bear it, so he stepped forward cautiously and put on a dress for He Yu, "Go to bed earlier. ."

"It doesn't matter, in fact, today is not an official day." He Yu looked back, but still smiled, "Go ahead, I'll rest in a while. I'll watch the rain for a while."

The housekeeper sighed softly and went down.

It really doesn't matter, does it matter?

Not at all, he was just waiting—

He felt that in this world, there should always be a person who can brave the wind and rain to come to him, think of him, read him, and accompany him in the dark.

He's not that bad either, he won't be punished like that, he's so lonely, is he?

He waited.

Wait...

"He Yu! He Yu!"

He opened his eyes slightly, hurried over, and opened the door.

Standing outside was the breathless Xie Xue—the only one of the opposite **** who was familiar with him. The only one, a playmate who has been with him for many years.

Xie Xue was wearing a raincoat, and there was water on her face and forehead.

She sniffed and smiled as she took off her raincoat, revealing the carefully guarded birthday cake underneath.

"Finally caught up?"

“…why are you here…”

"I don't want you to celebrate your birthday alone, it's so pitiful." Xie Xue wiped the water that was still running down her hair, "I made you your favorite chocolate flavor. The cake, oh my god, I'm almost drenched to death, such a heavy rain, I'm a ghost..."

At that moment, He Yu's resentment seemed to dissipate, and the vacancies were filled.

He grabbed Xie Xuebing's cold hand and pulled her in. He felt that his voice was hoarse. He said, "I don't think I should be alone..."

"How is it possible. How can you be alone? You and me, I will always be by your side."

“…”

"Happy thirteenth birthday, He Yu." The girl smiled and became the brightest ray of light in the dim villa.

The next thing, because of time, He Yu can't remember clearly.

He only remembered that later he went to the refrigerator to look for the unfinished piece of chocolate cake, but it was gone.

Of course, along with the cake, there were those untouched treats that the nanny baked for him.

Seeing his gloomy face, the nanny didn't wait for him to get angry, and explained: "Those things are not fresh, they will eat bad, so they fell... If you still want to eat, we will eat again tonight. Do."

What can be done again will not be the cake brought by Xie Xueyuye.

He Yu said: "It's okay, forget it."

…

He Yu looked at the projection in front of him, like falling into an ice cave, he clearly remembered that Xie Xue had been here that day.

His day...was...is accompanied by someone, someone remembered him...

But—

The information on the projection was retrieved and deciphered by He Yu himself, and the cloud storage traces are backed up, which will never be fake.

"Brother, Aunt Li is sick, I'm hanging out with her, when will you come back from a business trip? The procedures in the hospital are messy, my head is big, if only you were here... "

How can this be?

How come!

He retrieved the information of those days very quickly.

Xie Xue, Xie Qingcheng, He Jiwei, Lu Zhishu.

The truth is like an incorrupt corpse, in the cloud information library, a sneer and sneer appeared at him.

Fake…

Fake…

Fake! !

Because things have passed for a long time, a lot of chat records can no longer be captured, but the information successfully restored is enough to prove that Xie Xue was on that night, on the night he needed her the most ,she-

Never been there at all.

He Yu even saw the message she sent to Xie Qingcheng the next day: "Brother, He Yu asked me if I would go to his house to play and give him a birthday, but Aunt Li was sick yesterday. I'm so dizzy, I forgot to get back to him, I'm really sorry, can you apologize to him for me... I dare not explain to him..."

Xie Qingcheng: "You don't need to be so close to him."

…

Search further.

The timeline moves forward little by little...

It is even more shocking.

He turned to a record.

It was a conversation between Xie Qingcheng and He Jiwei.

"He Yu seems to have some kind of imagination when he is helpless. The object of his imagination is your little sister." He Jiwei said, "I recently discovered by accident, he told me something In fact, it never happened at all, Doctor Xie, this situation..."

"It's normal for him." Xie Qing replied, "I've always known his behavior."

"How could this be..."

"He Yu lacks a friend of the same age as him, but he refuses to open his heart to anyone of his age. His thinking is special, precocious, and his age Most of the people who are similar do not understand him very well. The long-term isolation has caused him to need an outlet for emotional catharsis. At this time, the closest peers to him can easily become his own reflection. "

"Your own reflection?"

"Yes, some children with autism or other psychological problems will imagine a friend in the growth process, in front of that friend, they can put their hearts unreservedly Submit it. That friend may not exist at all, or may be partially there. The meaning they imagined by the patient is to fulfill the strong desire in the patient's heart."

Xie Qingcheng explained to He Jiwei: "In fact, not only children with mental illness, but even normal children will have some unrealistic fantasies when they are lonely, such as in class Being excluded and without friends, they sometimes imagine a friend for themselves, thinking that only they can see and communicate with that friend, which is a child’s instinct for self-protection.”

"It's just that people who don't get sick can tell that it's their imagination, an illusion, and not reality. They know it's a sense of comfort they long for. But like He Yu, The kid. It's really hard for him to see that - especially since he's still partially imagining."

He Jiwei: "Part of the imagination means...?"

"Xie Xue does exist, she is my sister, the one who is the closest to him among his friends, is really good to him." Xie Qingcheng said , "But I know my sister. She has always been very warm in dealing with people. Although He Yu is a close friend of hers, she has not yet reached the level of a close friend. There are some things she will not do like that."

" However, for He Yu, his spirit needs to be supported, and what Xie Xue does not do, but what he hopes she can do, will be complemented by his own imagination. He only has this one friend, and he doesn't want to be disappointed by this friend, and his subconscious will convince himself repeatedly, making him fully believe that those things happened and that Xie Xue really did it."

"But it's so mysterious, it's hard for me to believe—"

"It's like some people sometimes confuse reality and dreams, like the so-called Mandela effect."

"The Mandela Effect?"

"This is not a rigorous academic concept, but it is suitable for interpretation. Mr. He can understand it as a group memory error event, and you can see many cases by searching the Internet. For example... Mickey Mouse has Not wearing suspenders?"

This time He Jiwei took a long time to reply to the news, it seems that he was confused by Xie Qingcheng suddenly asking such a cute question in such a serious conversation.

"Wear it."

"No. But a large number of people believe that it has been wearing a pair of bibs. This is the Mandela effect. It is a false memory that is continuously deepened by the human brain, resulting in inherent impression.”

" Mr. He can think that Mickey Mouse is equal to my sister, and it does exist, but she actually has no overalls at all. And He Yu, relying on his own imagination, completed the two parallels. Straps that don't exist, and an unwavering belief that that's what things really look like."

He Jiwei: "...Then, is this delusional disorder?"

"It can't be defined that way. For He Yu, it's just his self-protection, self-comfort, and self-redemption." —

"Mr. He, with all due respect, you and Mr. Lv have given him too little company, even a child with a healthy heart can seldom endure such neglect, not to mention that he is a patient."

"He doesn't get love, but he's so strong, maybe it can't be said to be so strong, but he knows that it's useless for him to cry, it's useless for him to plead, there is no way he can get it The response he needs, so he has become accustomed to internal friction and self-defense. The Xie Xue he projected has always been his own reflection. mouth and tell yourself what you want to hear."

“…”

He Yu looked at the dusty information, he thought about the desires in his heart...

For example, I will always be with you.

For example, what he has been waiting for, face to face, happy birthday to you.

Aren't these words what he deeply hoped that someone would resort to him?

But he can't wait...

Xie Qingcheng's news: "Because no one told him, and he is a person with high self-esteem, it is impossible to tell himself, his brain can only rely on part of the imagination , which not only satisfies his wishes, but also maintains his dignity. This is a psychological protection mechanism for people, and you don't have to worry too much. "

He Jiwei's message: "You already know this?"

"I've been watching it for a while. I can't tell him about this. It's too hard for him."

Xie Qingcheng said: "But I always keep Xie Xue away from him. Xie Xue is not the person he should have emotional dependence on. Neither she nor I, Mr. He. Sooner or later we will be to leave."

"I'm a doctor, I'm not He Yu's relative. I can't spend my whole life on a medical case, especially Xie Xue. I can only help him, and what he lacks, thinks I can't give him the kind of love he wants. Neither can my sister."

“…”

He Yu did not read the following news, and it was no longer important information.

He knows that, and that's enough.

Enough.

In the society, one gave him the most gentle company, and she would come to him in time every time he was desperate and helpless.

Like that rainy night, she knocked on his door, called his name in the wind and rain, took off her raincoat, and held out the piece of chocolate cake he wanted.

He never thought that maybe that piece of cake, that Xie Xue... didn't exist at all.

No one ever loved him.

He is like a fool! He was too stupid, too stupid, too eager to walk into the warmth of the crowd, in order to be a normal person, in order to put away his ugly blue-faced fangs, he produced that faint light from his **** skull.

Xie Qingcheng saw it, but he said—

"I can't spend my whole life on a medical case, especially Xie Xue. I can only help him, and what he lacks, the kind of love he wants, I can't give him. So does my sister."

But if a person has love in himself, why should he lie to himself?

What kind of liar will deceive the world and deceive others, but finally deceive himself the most.

Only the poorest and poorest liars do this.

He had too few, and shed too many tears. He had to imagine even a happy birthday. If he didn't deceive himself, how could he live by smiling like this?

So even in front of him, he was wearing a smiling mask, which he held tightly and refused to take it off. He even lied to himself.

Xie Qingcheng is right, he is dignified.

He doesn't want to be seen as a sick man, he doesn't want to be seen as a lunatic, he knows the location of the Ihe family, I don't know how many people are waiting for him to fall down and see his ugly appearance His corpse reveled in his blood, so he became stronger and stronger, and he didn't want to show his scars to anyone for mercy.

He Yu stood for a long time in the empty living room.

And in a trance.

He closed his eyes slowly.

It hurts.

It hurts...

The pain made his heart and his whole body tremble.

He seems to have nothing left.

Xie Qingcheng's creed is false, Xie Xue's intimacy is false, the comfort he gives himself is false, and finally even his self-esteem, even the hard shell he uses to protect himself, That mask is also fragmented. It was only now that he realized that his ridiculous clown-like face had been exposed in front of Xie Qingcheng for so many years.

So what is he insisting on?

Why is he so stupid! Risking his life to accompany that person, perhaps just for a word of recognition, in order to repay the glimmer of hope that Xie Qing had given him in the past...

He didn't even want his life, but to please a liar and a big lie!

He Yu laughed lightly, bowed and leaned against the wall, the laughter grew louder, more and more mad, like a ghost in a tomb who revives a corpse. The sick demon put on a cloak and swam out in the dark night. He raised his forehead with his hand, and his laughter was close to madness, like anger and hatred, like sadness and madness, and tears kept streaming down his face...

It hurts.

He saw Xie Qingcheng open his hand to him in front of him, but there was a cold scalpel lying in the center of his palm.

This is the truth.

He saw Xie Xue smiling and handing him the chocolate, and with a blink of an eye she just looked at him from a distance.

This is the truth…

He saw again…

He saw him standing in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows again, it was a violent storm outside, the antique clock in the old house struck twelve times, it was late at night, and the surroundings were boundless darkness.

No one knocked on the door.

No one ever knocks on the door.

He just waited like that, from dark to dawn, the wind and rain stopped, and the night was over, but he couldn't wait for a sincere happy birthday.

This is the truth.

He saw him lying on the restraint bed again, pierced by the injection, his nose and mouth covered, he was struggling and crying like a dying beast, but he could not call any one person's name.

He is an island.

No bridge.

This is the **** truth! the truth! !

A child who could not get love, in order to fight the disease deep in his heart, in order to live hard, he deceived the sky and the earth, deceived himself for many years...

This moment.

He Yu leaned against the wall, the bandages on his shoulders had been torn off in revenge by him, he let his wounds burst with blood, only blood can make him feel happy, feel real, feel that he is true It is alive! He's got a skin, the blood is warm when it comes out, he's alive, he's alive... he's alive...

The cave, he was forced to be exposed to the blue sky, and every ugly scar on his body could be inspected and ridiculed at will.

Dream, I finally woke up.

He struggled for nearly twenty years, and he was still a lunatic.

No one ever loved him, no one cared about him.

He has nothing but a botched lie.

He got nothing.