Ning Bai looked at the boy painfully, and the boy seemed a little lost.

Ning Bai took a deep breath, he stepped forward, gently holding the boy in his arms, mutely said: "I'm sorry, it's all my fault..."

He has no excuse.

He shouldn't watch it.

Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, and pushed him away violently, looking at him bitterly!

Go back to the room and slam the door!

Lin Ziran leaned back against the door of the room, his eyes changed, he breathed out, and he thought about it carefully. After reading the diary, Ning Bai worried that Lu Xiaodong could not open it makes sense...Now think of Lu Xiaodong in the original plot again, he pursues Ning After defeating Bai, he was broken and sent abroad. He was abandoned by his beloved parents. Perhaps it was because of the despair of losing everything that he died after becoming addicted to drugs.

Lu Xiaodong may really be self-(killing sha).

Ning Bai is so clever. He must have kept his steps because he was upset when he saw the diary. This also explains why he did not come before, but came afterwards. That is when he found the diary.

Ning Bai's anomaly can basically be explained.

It's just such a shameful thing...

Even if you are not really Lu Xiaodong, it’s a bit weird to be seen in a diary...

Lin Ziran's expression was a little awkward.

Then he sighed.

[Lin Ziran: Having said that, I suddenly remembered something. Your game design is very meticulous. The writing on this book is the same as mine. 】The first world is also where all Lu Zhen’s handwriting is used, otherwise he will sign when he plays the president.

[The pride of the system: All the relevant text props for the player to play the horn (color) are generated by extracting the player's own handwriting. We are committed to providing players with the most realistic game experience. 】

[Lin Ziran: It's really thoughtful. 】

………………

At night, Ning Bai came to knock on the door and said carefully, "Xiaodong, I came out to eat."

Lin Ziran won't be able to live with the meal, he pushed open the door and went out.

Ning Baishen (skin) was a little nervous, lest Lin Ziran was so excited that he didn't say a word for a meal.

Lin Ziran poked the dishes in the bowl. In fact, he didn’t hate Ning Bai so far as he was today. After all, Ning Bai was just playing with himself, or he voluntarily sent it to his door, and now he has doubled his revenge. ...

It can be considered even.

He looked up at Ning Bai, Ning Bai's expression was silent, and there were two band-aids on his forehead... Lin Ziran was embarrassed to lose his temper.

He is just a look, who knows this guy will not hide!

Ning Bai didn't have to be so good to himself, he probably was wrong and had a conscience, which was not the same as his mother.

After all, it was not him who was responsible for Lu Xiaodong's tragedy.

He was even a victim in the original plot.

He was not needed to compensate himself.

It must be said that he did something wrong... about when he said he liked him after him, he ruthlessly played himself? Did you (sleep Shui) yourself three times?

Cough cough cough.

But anyway, reading people's diaries is really crazy!

Lin Ziran bowed his head to eat.

Ning Bai raised his eyes slightly and looked at the boy in front of him. (Thin bao) His lips were tight and he felt very regretful. He finally made the boy more cheerful and stopped thinking about the past, but because of himself Lost in one moment.

It's all his fault...

Then a knock on the door suddenly sounded.

Ning Bai got up and walked over to open the door. After seeing Lu Maofeng at the door, his face (color) changed slightly, and his voice was low: "What are you doing here?"

Lu Maofeng looked at Ning Bai's cold and unwelcome expression, and his expression was a little nervous. I don't know why he was a little afraid of this son. Ning Bai rushed, and he quickly said: "I'm here to find Xiao Dong. "

Ning Baishen (color) is colder: "He is not here."

It is said to be closed.

Lin Ziran came over at this moment and said lightly: "Who made you decide for me?"

Ning Bai's face (color) was white.

Lu Maofeng finally saw Lin Ziran. He rubbed his hands, and his chubby face (exposed) gave a pleasing expression (sex), saying, "Xiaodong, your mother is ill and wants to see you."

Lin Ziran raised his eyebrows, didn't he? I'm afraid it's not a lie! Feng Wan wouldn't want to see himself even if he was really sick.

All she wants to see is Ning Bai.

Lu Maofeng saw Lin Ziran's suspicion and sincerely said: "It is true, she really wants to see you, you... I know you blame us, but after all, it is so many years of feelings, you go and see How is she?"

Ning Baihan said: "I'll do it." He wanted to see what Feng Wan had done.

Lu Maofeng was very embarrassed: "But what she wants to see is Xiaodong, but if Ning Bai is not at ease, you can come together..."

Lin Ziran pondered for a moment, suddenly raised his mouth and smiled: "I'm going."

[System: Are you willing to see her? 】

[Lin Ziran: Of course, now the winner is me. She may be asking for forgiveness. Why don’t I dare to see her? 】

【system︰……】

[Lin Ziran: Today is the day when Lu Xiaodong raised his eyebrows! 】

Lu Maofeng heard that Lin Ziran was willing to go, and was very happy, saying repeatedly: "Dad knew that your child is still kind."

Lin Ziran gave him a sneer.

Ning Bai was a little uneasy in his heart, he wanted to stop it, but this was the boy's decision, he couldn't get over with him, or maybe he still read Feng Wan...

He was silent for a moment and said, "I will go with you."

………………

The three came to the hospital.

Feng Wan was really sick and was hospitalized. Her body has not been good all these years, and she has some neurasthenia. She accidentally fell off cooking a few days ago. Lin Ziran did not see her for a few days. I used to be thinner...

Feng Wan was excited when he saw Lin Zi coming. He stretched out his thin hand and grabbed his hand. He said hoarsely: "I'm sorry, my mother was dizzy before, it was all my mother's fault. Don’t worry about it. In fact, your mother cares about you. You are a good child of your mother. No matter what you do, your mother will not blame you..."

Lin Ziran sneered at her.

Feng Wan's voice was intermittent, and her eyes begged. She used to look at him with indifference, ignorance, boredom, and impatientness... This was the first time she so humbled to beg for someone she once didn't care about, Feng Wan choked: "Xiaodong... For the past two decades, you and your mother will go home, will your mother treat you well..."

Feng Wan paused, a glimmer of hope (color) flashed in his eyes, and he was cautiously nervous: "Also, you, no one you want to be with (guanguan), even Ningbai (guanguan) ) Department, my mother will not blame you for this incident, you are all good children of my mother..."

When Lin Ziran heard this, where did he not understand Feng Wan? She is soft on herself.

In order to make Ning Bai willing to go home, he did not hesitate to pretend to love him, and even no longer objected to her being with Ning Bai. It stands to reason that Feng Wan bowed his head and begged him. It should be a very happy thing, but he found out that this was actually the case. Right...

Because even if she compromised and confessed, she still wanted Ning Bai after all.

Not for Lu Xiaodong.

Lin Ziran was suddenly not very angry, in fact, this woman is also very sad, isn't she? Even if she hurt others, she has never been happy, and harming others and harming herself has no good results. It is a pity... Lu Xiaodong has no right to choose.

Lin Ziran lowered his head, his eyes seemingly smiling, and approached her and said to her: "Who said that rare forgiveness?"

Lu Xiaodong never needed Feng Wan's forgiveness.

Feng Wan's face (color) was pale, and his tremor slightly shivered. She couldn't believe this was what the child said. She clearly dropped her body. Why, he still didn't want to come back? Isn't he the one who cares most about her?

Lin Ziran looked at her in disappointment, this woman would never understand where she was wrong.

He turned around and left.

Ning Bai immediately followed them out. They came outside. Ning Bai grabbed Lin Ziran's wrist, his eyes worried, and said, "I said I don't need to come..."

Feng Wan's attempt was so obvious.

Lin Ziran must have seen it.

Lin Ziran looked at his worried eyes, shrugged his shoulders, and said with a smile: "I'm fine."

His expression is calm and calm.

He didn't have anything to do with him originally. The reason why he came here today is just to give Lu Xiaodong an explanation.

Ning Bai looked at Lin Ziran's eyes, and at this moment, he felt that the boy had really let go, and he really didn't care anymore, but he was scared that he was wrong...

Lin Ziran suddenly looked at Ning Bai curiously and said, "Why don't you want to go home?"

Others, he wanted to understand, but this was something he had never been able to figure out. Although Feng Wan was not very kind to Lu Xiaodong, her love for Ning Bai was unquestionable.

But Ning Bai was willing to hurt her for herself.

Ning Bai saw Lin Ziran's doubts, his lips moved slightly, some things could not be explained in three words, and he did not want the boy to worry. He said slowly and seriously: "I said, I don't go back and you don't have any relationship, you Just know this."

Lin Ziran looked at it, this guy didn't want to say, then forget it, and he wouldn't force it.

After all, who has no secret?

………………

Looking at Ning Bai's sincere attitude, Lin Ziran was too lazy to toss him. Besides, what would he do if he had to leave?

He is not so boring.

And it’s pretty tiring to demolish...

After having dinner that day, Ning Bai looked at Lin Ziran tenderly and said, "You are about to start school. How about I rent you a house near the school? This makes it easier for you to go to school."

Lin Ziran was absent-minded: "Randomly."

Ning Bai said, "You will have to add some more clothes when the time comes. If you didn't take the clothes before, what kind of thing do you like? I'll accompany you to buy it, OK...

By the way, if there is a car, do you like that one, how about I buy you a new one? "

Lin Ziran: "..."

He saw that Ning Bai thought so seriously about what he had done after school, and he thought of everything about food, clothing, housing, and transportation. Suddenly, he was a little embarrassed to tell the truth.

At this time Xue Ze came.

Lin Ziran suddenly relieved.

Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai and Lin Ziran, and said with a smile: "Oh, your young couple are so sweet, Xiaodong, you can rest assured, Ning Bai is different from me, he is very dedicated and will never betray you! "

Ning Bai said in a deep voice: "Don't talk nonsense, I'm not in the same relationship with him."

Lin Ziran said nothing.

Xue Ze immediately pulled it on his mouth, indicating that he would no longer talk nonsense, but his eyes were still on his eyes.

In the evening, the three of them had dinner together. Xue Ze aggrieved and said to Ning Bai: "You can always come back to work now? You can't leave everything to me!"

Ning Bai hesitated for a moment.

Lin Ziran immediately said: "You go to work, I'm fine."

Although Ning Bai was a little uneasy, he saw that Lin Ziran was indeed okay, and he had been following him, maybe he would also make him unhappy. After a moment of contemplation, he nodded and said, "Okay, I will go back tomorrow."

………………

The next day, when Lin Zi got up, Ning Bai was already out, and he was the only person in the family who was empty.

He yawned and found that Ning Bai had already made breakfast for him, just put it in the microwave and heat it up. A note was posted on the refrigerator, which was Ning Bai’s powerful font: wait for me to cook at night, don’t order Takeaway.

Lin Ziran rubbed his eyes and ate the meal without washing his face.

He played games at home until five in the afternoon.

There was a lot of rain suddenly outside.

When the raindrops cracked on the window, Lin Ziran was silent for a moment, opened the drawer of the study, and found the key of the Lamborghini car he had abandoned.

Lin Zi ran aimlessly.

The rain is heavy, even if the wipers are fast, but the front view is still a little blurry, and the whole world looks gray.

[System: What are you going to do? 】

[Lin Ziran is silent for a moment: I can’t really wait until the school starts...]

[System:...] This player is also a must in order not to take classes.

Seeing the car on a bridge.

Lin Ziran stepped on the accelerator and suddenly the steering wheel turned, and the car directly broke through the guardrail and fell down from the bridge.

At this time, the phone happened to light up, Lin Ziran looked down, it was a text message from Ning Bai: a little traffic jam, I will come back a little later.

………………

Ning Bai did not return to the office for a long time, and after a lot of work, he sent a text message to Lin Ziran, and then continued to drive. When he returned home, it was already half past six, but what surprised him was that the lights at home were dark. There is no human voice.

Ning Bai opened every room and didn't see Lu Xiaodong's shadow. Then he started to call Lu Xiaodong, but the phone was always off, and it couldn't be reached... Ning Bai's uneasy expansion in the heart He carefully checked every corner of the house, and found that the car key in the drawer was missing.

Lu Xiaodong didn't like to buy this car for him, so he hadn't followed it. Why did he suddenly think of driving out today?

Ning Bai immediately called his friend and asked the traffic policeman to help check the whereabouts of the Lamborghini, then he waited anxiously.

He waited for more than an hour and soon got a reply, but his friend Zhiwu Wuwu refused to say so.

Ning Bairan (color) changed and said sharply: "What the hell!"

A friend said: "I will send you an address, you come now."

Ning Bai umbrella rushed out without hitting it, and drove out in a crazy way. He didn’t even care when he ran through the red light. He soon came to the bridge that broke through the guardrail, and under the bridge was the rolling river, It was all surrounded, and there were several police cars parked next to it...

Ning Baimuran walked forward to the broken gap and looked at the muddy and fuzzy river under the bridge, but he couldn't see clearly, he couldn't see exactly what was inside... so he wanted to get closer. Look at it, but suddenly it was dragged back!

The policeman said: "What are you doing? You can't pass, it's dangerous over there!"

Ning Bai's throat knot rolled a bit, and his voice was jerky, like a word squeezed out of the (chest xiong) cavity. He said, "What about people?"

The police said: "The search and rescue team is already salvaging."

Then Ning Bai stopped talking. He stood there and waited, letting the rain drizzle on his face, motionless, and after several hours, the car was finally salvaged.

Ning Baiding looked at the front, this time he finally saw clearly...

The boy is inside, he still wears a seat belt, but he won't move anymore...

Ning Bai walked past him. He thought this was an illusion. He had imagined that there was no one in the car, but now he had no way to deceive himself. He reached out and wanted to hug the boy in the past, but was pulled by the police and asked: " Who are you dead?"

Ning Bai lowered his eyes and used a gentle voice, as if afraid of disturbing anyone, and said softly, "I am his brother."

The police looked at him like this, sighed, and stopped.

Ning Bai carefully lifted the boy out of the car and pushed his wet hair to the side, (exposing) the boy's delicate and quiet face, but the blisters were a little white and looked awkward... Ning Bai gathered his arms and hugged him tightly in his arms, as if he wanted to use his own body to warm the other person's cold body...

"Are you intentional? Or... is this just an accident?" Ning Bai asked softly.

But the other party will never reply to him.

He is so quiet.

No anger, no noise, no temper, no provocation against him...

Not to mention like him anymore.

Ning Bai saw him not answering and asked sadly: "You are intentional, right..."

Because you blame me, blame me for not understanding you earlier, blame me for not falling in love with you earlier, blame me for not grabbing your hand early...

When you stood on the edge of the cliff and the moth approached me like fire, I did not understand your despair and helplessness, but pushed you away again and again...

Or, if I can be really brave, walk out of the past earlier and use another me to welcome you...

None of this will happen.

I had the opportunity to fall in love with you sooner, and bring you out of that house earlier...

But I am just a coward.

I can't even save myself, how can I save you?

in fact……

I am the most useless person.

………………

A few days later, Ning Bai personally (cao) held the matter.

Jiang 　 was informed that the news was coming, and he was unbelievable about the result. The boy was okay not long ago, why did he suddenly disappear?

(Fa) What happened?

Jiang 　 grabbed Ning Bai's collar, his eyes were red, and he said angrily: "Why didn't you take care of him!"

Ning Bai did not move, just looked at him coolly, (thin bao) opened his lips slightly, and made a sneering voice: "I want to ask you, are you satisfied with this result?"

What do you mean

Jiang 　 looked at Shang Ningbai's eyes, he realized what, his face (color) suddenly turned white, he let go of his hands, and took a step back.

Yes, what qualifications does he have to blame Ning Bai? He personally debunked Lu Xiaodong's identity, because he thought that he could get this person, but in the end he killed him personally. At that time, he never thought that the boy would really choose to go to the dead end...

This is his fault.

His fault.

At this time Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan also came.

Lu Maofeng seemed a little sad. He helped Feng Wan to come over and comforted in a low voice: "The mourning changes."

Ning Bai suddenly felt ironic.

He is your son. You have raised him for 20 years. Shouldn’t this whispering change change, shouldn’t anyone tell you?

Lu Maofeng was embarrassed to see that no one had bothered him, and then he saw Jiang　, and immediately went to court with favor: "Mr. Jiang, you are here too."

Jiang 　 didn't speak, just looked at him coldly.

This line of sight made Lu Maofeng very uncomfortable. He felt like he was on his back. Did he, and where did he offend Jiang?

Feng Wan pushed Lu Maofeng's hand away. She stumbled over and looked at the tombstone in front of her. A smile appeared deep in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared, and then she seemed very sad to Ning Bai said: "How could this happen? How could Xiaodong have an accident? He..."

Ning Bai looked at her lightly, as if she didn't want to talk at all, only spit out two words: "accident."

Feng Wan looked at him with tears and said: "Xiao Bai, don't be too sad... Otherwise, your mother will worry about you. My mother has no son and can't be without you."

Ning Bai just looked at her, but the blood on his body slowly cooled down. All this made him feel so ridiculous...

He suddenly stepped forward and chuckled in Feng Wan's ear: "No, you have no son anymore."

Feng Wan listened to his cold, playful tone, his expression frozen, and said stupefiedly, "You, aren't you still..."

Ning Bai seemed to be laughing, but there was no slight warmth in the laughter, only the icy coldness, he said: "There is one thing, I never told you-it was not you who lost me, it was I who first loosed It's me who opened your hand-I don't want you anymore.

Your son died 20 years ago. "

Feng Wan's pupils contracted suddenly, looking at him incredulously, at the cold and ruthless face of the man in front of him, his lips trembling and shaking: "No, it's not like this, how could you not want your mother, it can't be like this..."

Ning Bai smiled softly and looked at her deeply: "This is the truth, why do you refuse to recognize it?"

Feng Wan looked at him deadly, and suddenly there was bitter hatred in his eyes, shouting sharply: "How can you do this! Mom loves you so much, Mom paid everything for you, how can you treat me like this! You demon , You are not my son! You are not my son! You are just the devil in his skin!"

There was a twisted smile on Feng Wan's face, and she rushed out crazy from here. She laughed while running: "I don't have a son, all my sons are dead! All are dead! I don't have a son, I don't have a son... …"

Ning Bai looked at Feng Wan's back, but his expression was always indifferent, as if looking at an insignificant person.

Lu Maofeng looked at this scene, his startled face (color) turned white and his body was stiff, and even looked at Ning Bai with some fear...

Feng Wan is crazy.

He felt that he probably shouldn't be here today. He moved his steps quietly. The scene here made him very uneasy. Suddenly his shoulders were held down. Jiang Qihe looked at him with cold eyes, and he said: "Let's talk. "

Lu Maofeng: "..."

Quiet around.

Ning Bai looked at the tombstone in front of him intently, and gently touched (Mo) Mo, looking at the smiling face of the boy above, as if all his goodness had been frozen at this moment.

Me, Jiang　, Lu Maofeng and Feng Wan.

Each of us is a murderer.

Sorry.

Even though I said so much about them, the thing I hate most is not them...but myself.

Hate your powerlessness.

I hate my cowardice.

Ning Bai closed his eyes, and the scene where the boy met him for the first time appeared. He wore a bleak and strange makeup, but the smile was bright and tight, and his eyes were shiny and smiling. He said, "Handsome, shall I have a drink?"

The once frivolous words have now become his extravagant hope.

If I can go back to the past, I want to start from that moment, leaving you by my side and exhausting everything to love you.

………………

Three months later.

Xue Ze looked at Ning Bai, who was focused on his work, and said anxiously: "Otherwise, if you go out for a holiday, don't worry about the work."

Ning Bai raised his eyes and looked at him lightly, "Don't you always say that I left you busy and you make trouble without reason?"

Xue Ze: "..."

He wanted to say something, and he just sighed in the end. It would be better if he knew today that he would not be bothered.

Love really is a hurting thing.

Xue Ze turned and left.

Ning Bai did not work overtime today, he made an appointment with a psychologist.

We arrived at the clinic on time at 8pm.

The doctor smiled at him: "Are you getting better lately?"

Ning Bai's voice was hoarse: "It's still like that."

The doctor said: "What does it look like?"

Ning Bai's affection was a little trance, he seemed to think of something, his eyes slowly and hollowly.

"There is a dark room with me and a child in it.

We are trapped there.

He called my brother and said that I was very scared.

It's very dark here.

I said don't be afraid, let me take you out.

I beat hard, but I couldn't find the door.

I will pull him.

Suddenly he didn't move.

He said, brother, you can't save me.

You can't even save yourself.

It turned out that he had been there for a long time...

But I don’t know.

I do not know. "

Ning Bai said here, he paused for a moment and slowly spoke: "Then he died."

Doctor Wen Sheng asked: "Is still unable to sleep (sleep Shui)?"

Ning Bai nodded.

The doctor asked him some more questions, and said something to him, and finally said: "I will prescribe some medicine for you."

Ning Bai left from there.

The doctor sighed. He rarely saw such patients. No matter how many times he came, he did not get any better, or he did not want to come out at all. Maybe... he just came to prescribe medicine?

………………

Ning Bai returned home.

The house was messy, just like when the boy was still there. He pulled off his tie casually, threw his coat on the sofa, and put his slippers on his feet.

Don't tidy up too much (dry gan) net, so as if he is still there.

Ning Bai was lying on the bed (chuang), he took the medicine and closed his eyes.

Since that day, he can only get in through sleeping pills (sleep Shui).

But as time went by, the efficacy of the medicine seemed to be getting worse and worse. I don’t know what happened today. Even if I ate more doses, I still couldn’t get in (Shui), and I was confused, and all sorts of messy thoughts in my head were pressed. He was breathless.

He opened his eyes suddenly, struggling to reach for the medicine, but for a while he didn't (touch Mo), but instead (touch Mo) reached the diary.

He keeps this book on the pillow.

This was the only thing the boy left him, but he never had the courage to open it.

He is still so cowardly.

All this is like a nightmare, an endless cycle, unsolvable (tuo).

Never get out.

Ning Bai clenched his diary, he laughed loudly, and finally opened it again, he felt like a walking corpse (meat rou), gradually unable to distinguish between reality and illusion, maybe only pain can make him I know that I am still alive, even if the **** wound is opened again...

But he wanted to feel the meaning of existence.

Familiar words and sentences appeared in front of him, Ning Bai looked slowly page by page, like using a knife to slowly cut the skin and bones, but he suddenly enjoyed this feeling because he Feeling close to the boy.

It looks like it's within reach.

It's like being by his side.

From early morning to dawn, a faint morning light came in through the gaps in the curtains.

Ning Bai finally turned the last page, and the action was abrupt.

I don’t know when I said more: I went to another world and don’t have to worry about me.

Ning Bai's hand shivered slightly and gently stroked (touching Mo) the sentence.

Turns out, you are such a fool...

You're actually afraid of me worrying about you...

You are so good, but why...

Never knew it was better for myself?

Ning Bai raised his hand and covered his eyes. For a long time, a tear left his fingers.

But you are so stupid, how can I make it,

Don’t worry?