First Player

~: 【咩咩】

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 Prepare for the ninth world and rest for two days.

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 About the issue of updates... I know many people want more updates, but one update a day is the limit. The main reason is that the book's performance has not been very popular, so it must be academically focused, and I have to take the postgraduate entrance examination in my junior year. At present, the prospect of the book cannot convince my family. (Don’t look at the collection of 500,000, there are only 1,000 people who have fully subscribed...)

You can only try to compress your rest time as much as possible every day to write articles. The more I want to read various works and draw materials, the more I feel guilty for not studying. The more I immerse myself in the colorful world of ideas, the more I face the pain of boring reality.

The reality does not have the living fire, the city on the clouds and the songs in the article. It is told in a straightforward way until the end. I wanted to enrich my thoughts but was unable to do so. I wanted to enrich myself but had no time. I wanted to read and write more soulful words but was stopped because this was not the "right path". Including the Eighth World, they all survived under the urging of their relatives, "Stop writing, it's a waste of time."

 I understand the importance of a stable job, and I can’t control my pursuit of excellence in the plot. Just like writing about The Ninth World, I have to read various science fiction works to draw materials, but this will also consume review time.

I don’t want to water down my articles. I hope every chapter is the best that I can.

 So I am in a dilemma and suffer all the time.

 So I am exhausted.

 I don’t think I have to worry about so much and run towards the “sea”. But I can't overturn my black wall, so I love and suffer.

 There is no cost of trial and error, and there is no economic condition to pursue dreams. I have to be carried forward by the future, confused, day after day, unable to resist.

 Even if you want to have non-utilitarian interests, you will still be constrained by the environment, family, and survival itself.

People are always people in society, and no one is immune.

 I am trapped by a black wall.

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"You are right, but you are doomed. In today's world, whoever wants to live and be happy all his life must not be like you and me. Whoever wants to listen to real music instead of playing nonsense and reject low-level entertainment But to have real joy, to have a soul instead of money, to have real work instead of hustle and bustle, to have real passion instead of just playing around, such a person cannot find his home in this beautiful world.”

 —Hermann Hesse, "Steppenwolf"

 (End of this chapter)