To say that doomsday illusions and hospital realities are both delusions in the brain, the most difficult point to explain is why I have not known Dr. Ruan Li in this very real world, and it is the first whisperer plan to hear eight scenes. However, these people and things have already developed in the end of the illusion and the reality of the hospital? It is a paradox to say that this is the ability to predict the future and put it in this normal, strange and mysterious world. If this world also has weirdness and mystery, how is this world different from Doomsday Illusion? When weird and mysterious exist, it indirectly proves the existence of "jiang" and "repeater", and then proves the existence of "virus". Even if nothing seems to happen today, it will definitely be sometime in the future. It happens, so I do n’t want this world to be weird and mysterious. In this way, the "predictability" of delusions in the brain must find a sufficient reason to rule out.

I decided to see Dr. Ruan Li in this world first. Although not much of her information has been posted online, but from her photos and few introductions, you can still see that she has many similarities with Dr. Ruan Li in the hospital reality-first of all, looks The same is true, secondly, it is similar in temperament, and finally, it is professionally close. The biggest difference is probably the place of work. Dr. Ruan Li in this world has a private psychological clinic, not an institute disguised as a hospital on an isolated island.

Dr. Ruan Li once helped me a lot in the hospital, and was a beautiful beauty full of intellectual temperament. I was very impressed. Although she also works for the hospital, it was my short-lived , Full of depression and grotesque real life in the hospital, a little bit of bright colors felt. With my understanding of her reality in the hospital, I can relate myself to this period of time. Test her further with a patient story. If I was worried that the in-depth contact with Bajing and them would change the direction of this world towards the illusion of doomsday, then when I contacted Dr. Ruan Li, I was surprised that there was no such worry. In the reality of the hospital, Dr. Ruan Li and Bajing are different. She always observes people and the world with the identity and perspective of a psychologist. From a psychological and spiritual perspective, she explained the mystery and strangeness, but she did not get involved in the research of "virus", but only judged the progress of the research by observing "Gaochuan". This also means that Dr. Ruan Li has always been in a neutral observation position, I think. She can give an answer that makes me feel good.

I copied down the contact number that private psychological clinic put on the Internet, picked up the phone and dialed it. The phone over there was quickly connected. When the voice came over, it was like a long-lost acquaintance. Her voice was simply a reproduction of the reality in the hospital.

"Hello, this is Ruan Li's Heart Therapy. This is Ruan Li." Dr. Ruan Li said in a formulaic opening remark.

"Hello, Dr. Ruan Li." When I spoke, the voice across the earpiece seemed to pause for a moment. It seemed that Dr. Ruan Li was doing other things. I couldn't help asking again: "Dr. Ruan Li?"

"Ah, hello, this is Ruan Li, please say." Doctor Ruan Li finally answered. Her breathing has stabilized.

"I have had some nightmares recently, and I feel a little confused about what is real and what is unreal." I said briefly: "I hope you can talk to me and relieve my troubles."

"Okay, this is my duty. I will try my best to help you." Dr. Ruan Li's voice became very soft, making people feel very comfortable. "Please also ask your name first."

"Gao Chuan." I replied.

"Gao Chuan?" Dr. Ruan Li suddenly fell silent, but from the breathing sound in the earpiece, she could tell that she did not leave. I think her reaction was a little shocked. It's like hearing me somewhere, but in my memory of this world, I have never seen her. If it were not for the purpose of finding Zhenjiang and then meeting with her in a chance like fate, maybe there is no concrete concept of whether she exists or where she is doing something.

From this point of view, Dr. Ruan Li in this world also seems to have some special information.

"Dr. Ruan Li?" She paused too long, and I couldn't help but urge it.

"Ah, yes." Dr. Ruan Li seemed to wake up and turned to other questions: "When are you free? I still have a few patients here, so I need to make an appointment."

I said for a while, Dr. Ruan Li did not object, but her voice sounded strange to me, maybe Dr. Ruan Li knew something. I am looking forward to seeing Dr. Ruan Li, but before that, I have to go to the bank to pay for this month's living expenses. Although he did not go to see Dr. Ruan Li to see a doctor, since the other party is a psychologist, even if he is just talking, he still needs to pay a fee.

After confirming that Dr. Ruan Li also exists in this world, I once again made the nightmare that became extremely vague after waking up. I just remember that I seemed to fall in the dark, and an inexplicable existence has been A murmured voice that made people crazy. When I woke up with sweat, I came to the mirror top-heavy, recalled my memory, and used logical questions to confirm that I had not really become a lunatic.

In those days that are like strangers to Bajing and Misaki, the strange and mysterious feeling of agitation has disappeared, and if there is any illusion, it will also go away, but this time, I looked at the mirror, trance In an instant, he suddenly saw his left eye turn red. It seemed to be reminding what it was not my eyes, but another boundary that penetrated time and space, staring at his gaze. "Jiang ..." I couldn't help but say the code I couldn't forget. The next moment, I woke up suddenly, and myself in the mirror was back to normal again, as if the previous change was just an illusion, but such a familiar illusion is like reminding me that what it represents is moving towards the world penetration.

That is an absolutely terrible change compared to the normal world today. I began to feel unconfident about my inaction. I insisted on this ordinary and normal world with my own will. I can really put an end to the changes of the very consciousness, and let that cruel fate be only a "Chinese delusion" for me. Does it exist?

I feel that I should work harder to prove that it is indeed my Secondary Two delusion, and Dr. Ruan Li is undoubtedly the best person to talk about. Even if she is taken as the template in the reality of the hospital, she can still be guided by psychology. Let me consciously think that I am only a secondary disease patient. In fact, I have also realized that the reason why I can't regard myself as a patient with secondary disease is simply because my experience in the end of the illusion and the reality of the hospital is so inscribed into the bone marrow that it is difficult for myself to admit "Ordinary".

on the other hand. Even if I want to make sure that everything is just my "delusion", this delusion must have its roots. This root lies in the fact that I always think of myself as "unusual". No matter in which world, I will look from all angles. Use all known knowledge to demonstrate your "uniqueness".

Yes, although I do not want to admit it, I have begun to realize that if I always think of myself as "unusual", then. Change will definitely continue-and I can't get rid of this perspective of observing the world centered on myself. It makes me a contradiction. I hope the world is ordinary, and I look forward to my own extraordinary. However, if I assume that I am not ordinary, then I will definitely bring some change to this ordinary world, so as to prove myself Is extraordinary.

A few nights after the next day, I tossed and turned. Thinking is painful, but it is difficult for me to let go of this pain. I can only quietly wait for a decisive change in my knot-although I want to dominate this change, there is a keen sense that makes me aware of a certain Unstoppable operation. It is like destiny, holding the dominance firmly in its own hands.

"Jiang ...?" I said the name in my heart. I want it to be my "delusion", but the fact may be. Its existence is simply not interfered by my will. Even though I said to myself countless times, that was nothing but a delusion, but it seemed to be rooted in my soul, and it made me unable to truly determine that is a delusion.

Even in the reality of the hospital, I have never been so painful, so struggling, I am not complaining, but this ordinary world that I belong to does have a huge gap between me and myself. I started to feel that the world is releasing the greatest maliciousness to me. Assuming that this is not my delusion, but a trap of a repeater, then the repeater has officially shown me its power-this is a torture The world is not physical torture, but mental, psychological and spiritual consciousness.

My life was urgent, relaxed, painful, and seemed to be liberated, but my encounters in these days made me realize that it might never be fixed in which one. Relaxation will make urgency more urgent, and relief will always make greater pain come suddenly. I originally thought that I would never think about it. Things that have been put down will appear in my mind at a sudden time, but I cannot ignore, forget, and get rid of through subjective consciousness.

I saw myself in the mirror and became haggard every day. It was a familiar and strange look. Then, one morning, when I looked at myself in the mirror again, I suddenly realized why the guy in the mirror would be familiar. And strange-is this haggard look not the Gaochuan in the hospital?

After the appearance of Dr. Ruan Li, the reality of the hospital once again has a further intersection with the world-it is like fate.

I tried my best to cheer up and put my face deeply in cold water. Compared with the current situation, the real life in the hospital is also terrible, and it has a great impact on the spirit. At that time, I didn't even have a healthy body. My feet were disabled and I could only sit in a wheelchair. It is exactly that kind of experience, so, although I feel pain at the moment, the familiar, fighting with what is visible or invisible, to grasp the burning of my destiny seems to be gradually awakening with the blood flow .

I do n’t think the situation is worse than it was at that time. I have always believed that no matter what kind of torture I will suffer, my will will not be defeated. If there is anything that can stop me, then there must be only one way, which is to destroy me. Lai Zhi's flesh. In another three days, I will see Dr. Ruan Li, but the haggard self in the mirror makes me feel that this is not the image of meeting someone I value.

Before overcoming all external torture, I must overcome myself to some extent, at least, to awaken the will to fight. Recalling the doomsday illusion. In those years when I have n’t stepped into the mystery circle, I ’ve never been as loose and loose as I am now. It does n’t really matter who I fight with—the haggard mirror, the cold tap water, and the memories of the battles in the past make me feel myself As if suddenly suddenly waking up, a wave of excitement penetrated the spinal cord-yes. It does n’t matter whether we are weird and mysterious as enemies, or whether we are tortured by illusions. The important thing is to have a fighting heart, a kind of time and place. The enthusiasm that will not go out.

I took leave from the school, walked out of the house, went to the hardware store, and bought back every material and tool I knew. Then he reorganized his bedroom and transformed the whole space into a workshop according to his memory and experience in the illusion of doomsday. I started to make those weapons that seemed to be imprinted in my soul. I polished, assembled, and sewn. Listen to the collision of metal in your hands, the sound of tight bowstrings, sharpen the blade, cut the hand guard, and wrap the anti-slip cloth layer by layer on the handle. In these movements, I feel the strength of my soul and listen to the voice of the soul.

This body is so fragile, without weirdness and mystery. It is just an ordinary high school student, but it is enough, because it is stronger than the real body in the hospital, and it is more conducive to walking. I used the skills of the Fujiang Church to practice myself, though. In these few days, there will be no essential changes, but the pain and sourness caused by those movements. When I'm exhausted, I always feel that my fighting will is quickly condensing and returning to the level that I am familiar with and used to.

"Will, use your will to overcome all difficulties, even if you can't, you must believe that." Fu Jiang's voice, when I woke up in that vague nightmare, when I sharpened the blade and cut the metal , Will echo in my mind. Her arrogance, her attack, her advice and warnings, each of her ambiguous eyes have a firm look, she stood on the back of a tall building, just like the old photos, listed in my mind.

Then, the night before I officially went to visit Dr. Ruan Li, I had no more nightmares.

When I woke up, it was when I came to this world that I felt the most powerful. That is not reflected in the flesh, but in my perception of myself-I have the confidence to face any gratifying or sad changes, no matter whether the changes are as I expected or beyond my expectations . I thought of failure, and unacceptable situations, but I got an accurate answer, that is, I was so sad and stopped.

I have never had a truly satisfactory victory before, but I have never fallen, and this time I will not. Since it will not fall, then failure itself no longer has a decisive meaning, because the only meaning of failure is to make people stop.

"Whether this world is a real reality or a trap for repeaters, the only thing I can do is actually only one." I put on my armor, adjusted my arm blade, put the crossbow into my rucksack, put The action-friendly parts are buckled on the belts one by one, and then put on the hooded crimson windbreaker, facing the mirror, the familiar self said: "Go to the end of life with your own will."

In this ordinary world without weirdness and mystery, the only enemy I am armed with is my own and unfathomable destiny, and things that may or may not be hidden deep in the shadow of the world. My enemy is invisible. I arm the body, but it is my own soul that is truly armed.

"Let's go, quark." I said to the crow painting on the wall and turned away without hesitation. I think that the real quark has always been by my side, in my soul-the crow, with black wings and sharp claws, walking under the night, its voice is sad and hoarse, with wisdom, is real The carrion eater is regarded as unknown, but the essence of it is just a crow, an animal that moves only by instinct and thinking, and there is no meaning that other people put on it.

Gao Chuan, too.

In the weather in early September, the temperature has not dropped too much from the height of late summer. I, wearing a windbreaker, suffered from other people's alternative eyes, but my heart did not shake at all. I have already calculated the time and walked to the bus station. Dr. Ruan Li actually lived in a high-end residential area in the north of the city. This surprised me a few days ago, but now there is no such emotion. My heart is very calm, as the bus moves forward, watching every detail passing through the window, the sun is shining outside, the shadows on the ground become particularly deep, but no matter what those shadows will bring It feels weird or normal, and has never stopped in my heart.

Half an hour later, I got off the car and walked. Dr. Ruan Li ’s psychological clinic was more than a thousand meters away from the drop-off point. I walked through the streets at a calm pace. The average price of this high-end residential area can also be regarded as the most top-notch in the whole city. As far as I know, except for Dr. Ruan Li, only Sakuya has a house here, but that is the illusion of doomsday. The Misaki family in the world is not very clear about the Misaki family in this world. After all, just in case, I did not have in-depth contact with Misaki. However, before coming here, I have inquired about the situation in this area. The relevant real estate developers have been operating for a long time, but they can only maintain a relatively deserted living environment. I rarely come here, and now I am walking on the road of this community personally, but the desertion is obvious. Although occasionally, there will be high-end cars passing by, but it is still accounted for in the absence of a silhouette in five minutes. most.

Every intersection is equipped with a camera, but experience and instinct are enough to deal with it. Although, under normal circumstances, there is no need to do such extra things, but I still try to use the ability of eaves and walls to be prepared. With the help of such non-ordinary people, I adjust my physical habits and weaponry. Sure enough, it was a bit strange at first, but soon, instinctively completed the adjustment of the balance of movement, and the body began to relax.

At a distance of more than one thousand meters, walking along the planned route takes up to ten minutes at the fastest, but I have special action skills and routes, the kind of steps that blend into the shadows and step on the silence, just a little bit Extracted from the agitation of each cell. Afterwards, on a high wall with a wide view, I overlooked Dr. Ruan Li-she was coming out of the parking lot of the clinic, remotely lowering the roller shutter door, carrying a medicine box in her hand, wearing a white coat, in terms of outline , And she is not much different from my reality in the hospital. The time I agreed with her was a full day, but, looking at the clinic, it seemed that she only started working at this time.

Before entering the door, Dr. Ruan Li deliberately stopped and looked around. He seemed to be looking for something ~ lightnovelpub.net ~ After confirming that there was no figure around him, he entered the clinic.

After carefully confirming that she was the doctor Ruan Li I was looking for, I jumped from the high wall and rolled a roll on the ground to cushion, following the route that was observed in advance and would not be easily noticeable. Penetrate into the clinic. It's not impossible to go straight to the door, but I think a surprising way of playing will help people reveal the secrets that they want to hide from the details-if she really has a secret.

I am not here to seek medical treatment, but to test something from a real psychologist, confirming the world in her eyes, and the me in her eyes, and even in the world I know The significance of this is the behavior involving the other party's psychology. Dr. Ruan Li does not have enough force, but on the psychological level, it is not a soft persimmon. When Dr. Ruan Li reached out to me, she had made me aware of the weirdness she had suppressed. From this perspective, I guessed that Dr. Ruan Li, who seemed to have nothing to do with Gaochuan in this world, might be in some way In a sense, they have a closer relationship with me than Bajing Miyake. If the interpersonal relationship in the end of the illusion and the reality of the hospital will be reflected in this world, then the relationship between Dr. Ruan Li and my doctor and patient may continue in some way, even if, In my memory of this world, I have no such impression. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote for recommendation and monthly tickets. Your support is my biggest motivation. Please read it for mobile users.)