No matter where it is, white Claudia is like a symbol of doomsday truth.

If I want to save everything I cherish, I must leave before the world of this repeater is destroyed. I ca n’t estimate the degree of harm that the battle and conspiracy of the invaders of the Doomsday Realm will bring to this world, but even if we take a step back 10,000, everyone ’s actions will connect and promote the doomsday process Function, this point will definitely appear in my past experience-no matter what we do, do or do not do, we will deeply feel that we have become a link of the end, not a link to stop it . The terrible ending seems to be in sight. Although it has not arrived yet, maybe it will be tomorrow? Perhaps the day after tomorrow? A week later? A few months later? It will definitely arrive.

Everyone who knows the end of the world, even if the information is insufficient, can intuitively feel that this period of time will definitely not drag through 1999. Conversely, there is also a feeling that if you can still see the sun rise too much and people's daily life after 1999, it means that the end is over, or that the end of the process has stopped.

All actions, plans, and ideas can only be verified in the first second of 2000. All previous odds, no matter what percentage, are actually of little significance. Because, the closer it is to the end of the year, even according to its own plan, there is a 99% chance that the doomsday process will be blocked, and the worst possibility of 1% will still bring with "99% Doomsday-like stress will occur.

Similarly, if this relay world is not regarded as a special temporary data hedging space attached to the illusion of doomsday, the doomsday feeling will become more serious. Because, that means, to prevent the world from being destroyed, it is completely equivalent to stopping the "doomsday process" in the full sense. It ’s not just about the world itself.

The destruction of this world of repeaters, from the point of view of doomsday illusions, is due to the actions of the invaders, then, as long as these can be seen, the conspiracy that can be contacted is enough. After the situation. You need to wait and see if the end of the illusion is coming. However, the world is also regarded as a real side, and the end of the process is synchronized with other real sides. Then, to stop it, the opponent is no longer a visible mysterious organization, nor is it an average level of mysterious power, but a Kind of invisible. Untouchable, but what is actually happening is like a fate.

The concept of a world of repeaters in the rescue zone is completely different from the concept of saving all the real aspects, and thus completely preventing the end. The difficulty of the latter makes people almost nowhere to start, and my plan is to be implemented. Nor can it follow the order of the past: first stop the end of the world, then stop the end of the illusion of the end. Eventually prevent the end of the hospital reality.

According to the assumption of "real side", no matter which world is, as long as one of them is destroyed, then the other world will also be destroyed simultaneously. Because they all directly reflect "true". It is not a system of who is dependent on whom.

The complex relationship here includes the relationship between the world and the world, between people, between similar people in different worlds, and between different people in different worlds. Completely unable to sort out. Even if various speculations, various associations, and what seems to be seen from the perspective of the third party God have been recorded in the diary, it is necessary for me to sort out a completely reasonable, intricate, and smooth relationship diagram. Can't do it.

Only the relationship between Dr. Ruan Li, "Jiang" and the human form Jiang, the relationship between them in different worlds, and even the relationship between the white Claudia, "virus" and "Jiang" have always caused my thinking Deadlock.

I couldn't help but guess. The clues that might be recorded in the diary. Some of the things that seemed objective, and some of the things that I saw with my own eyes, all contained false information brought about by mental hallucinations. In particular, a large part of my memory of Gaochuan's past is a mixture of hallucinations, imagination, and psychological tendencies.

What is even more worrying is that even if you know these memories, what you see is not completely "true", but you can't tell which ones are "false". Because, in many cases, there is no absolute reference.

Although regrettable, human consciousness is like this. In the absence of a standard reference object, even cognition of other things cannot be done.

When I was first in the illusion of doomsday, I used what I saw and heard, and the information of Ning Xingjiang as a reference. After entering the hospital reality, the intelligence of the hospital reality is used as a reference. After the recovery, the "jiang" and "virus" were used as reference objects. However, all three references have a side that does not seem so real, or that it cannot prove its absolute truth.

Everyone will set a real reference object in their subconscious, and after setting, they will start to believe in their hearts and will not be easily shaken. However, once shaken, in popular terms, it is the disintegration of the three views, which is full of terrible destructive power for the survival and positioning of human beings. And like me, the real reference in my heart is constantly shaken, so that my three views have to be revised at any time, but it cannot be maintained at a stable level. It is definitely not a normal situation, and it absolutely meets the standards of mental patients.

Dr. Ruan Li completely saw through this.

My behavior is not based on the objective of "what is the truth", but on the subjectivity of "what I think is the truth". This is not to say that other people use objective reality to build their own three views, but objective and firm factors are definitely the most important bricks and stones. But for me, "objectivity" seems to never exist, but it is more in line with the definition of "illusion". For example, how many people feel that when they pick up a stone, it is not the stone, but something else? The reason why "stone" here is "objective truth" is not because the person who picked it up feels that it is true, but recognizes that its essence is truth, and the name "stone" is for this "truth" ".

However, when I put it here, I picked up the stone. The reason why it is true is not because it is admitted to be true. And only I want it to be true.

I don't want to admit these situations and have done many self-defenses, but I feel that Dr. Ruan Li has seen through everything. This world view, which lacks a real reference and becomes swayed, is exactly what I suspect even the most real "hospital reality". Even now. The origin of the hypothesis of "true side" was made.

No normal person will doubt whether the world in which he lives is true. Even if such thoughts have ever occurred, they will not act in accordance with such thoughts.

In any case, he is not a normal person-this knowledge is in line with Dr. Ruan Li's expectations.

"I always hope that you can admit this in the bottom of your heart." She said to me in this way, "In your past diary, even if you admit it in your mouth, and justify it from this angle. Thinking about some situations, but, you are right The expectation of being a normal person greatly exceeds this cognition. In many contents, you assume that you are a normal person to make judgments. However, you are not a normal person, even if you have common sense. How can you choose from From your own perspective, to believe those normal judgments? Oil and water are both fluids. However, oil cannot become water, and it is impossible to see from the perspective of water what you should do, what you can do, and even more impossible to do. Everything you can do with water. "

initial. My original intention to write a diary-no, it should be said that in my memory, writing my own story is not a diary. Rather, he hopes to write a novel full of incredible adventures. Because my own experience is too mysterious, there is no need to exaggerate. Instead, because there are too many situations that I am completely incomprehensible and difficult to imagine before encountering, I will also try to record When interpreting the content of the story, I want to find the doubts and clues that I did not find at the time of the incident, and organize a logical organization. It turns out that this will only make the whole story more and more complicated. The more obscure. In the end, I was powerless to sort out these contents.

The story is huge, bloated, and there is no rearrangement of the plot structure, most of them are arranged in their own chronological order, so, if you look at it as a diary, it will be easier, like: What you saw this time, do What happened, what came to mind. Then, treat the end of this piece of content as a temporary end, and do not force the relationship with the content afterwards.

This fragmentation in reading will make the overall content simpler, but it will also generate more questions. I think that if it needs to be published, in this way, the whole story is broken down into small stories. Each story is arranged in the way of "dream adventures made by the same protagonist in chronological order", perhaps better.

How Dr. Ruan Li read these contents in the end, I can't guess at all, because, she needs to sort out from the story, not the plot and setting, but the reaction behind these grotesque plots and setting. Suggested changes in my psychology. She and the reader I envisaged are not at all a type.

I don't think that reading my diary will get too much pleasure. Perhaps, in the content of the diary, there is no lack of a description of happiness, but the heavy, depressed, and puzzling, and the subjective uncertainty and doubt that I have experienced are difficult to rationalize the logic and Emotions, as well as various mentally ill-behaved branches, must be an important reason to drive the reader away.

Even so, I still can't stop writing, because only these grotesque, confusing and difficult to interpret parts really depict and prove my existence. These things, good or bad, are proof that I was alive.

I am here.

Anyway, I am here.

Even if it is impossible to distinguish whether something other than "I" is true, it is impossible to simply use this "I" as a real reference, but it can give me a real, alive feeling.

For this reason alone, I can't stop writing, even if the diary will be psychologically analyzed, and ignore what I really want to express, or think that what I want to prove is "taken for granted, and there is no need to care" Things, I never thought of giving up this behavior. Stubborn behavior, and the original intention of the behavior, for others, may be "there is no difference between there and no", perhaps "ridiculous and funny", probably "incomprehensible", but for yourself, it certainly has Significance.

When I firmly believe in this, and take action. Those confusing and uncomfortable situations will become as light as feathers.

That's how I am, and I have been walking to the present, and I will continue to go on.

I chewed the roast meat with a gulp and tasted the deliciousness of the meat. Bite it down. Tearing and chewing is like this is the last day of life, the last meal, turning the life that should be in the future, but may end, into such a force.

"It's delicious, mother." I said to Dr. Ruan Li: "It's really delicious."

Dr. Ruan Li smiled slightly, but. I think her eyes are not as happy as her smile.

In fact, I feel that she doesn't need to be sad for me, because although I am carrying a lot now, she is happier than she is now. Well, it needs comfort. It's her, isn't it?

I fork a piece of meat. Plugged into her mouth.

"Is it barbecue in the morning?" I asked.

"Morning meeting said something related to the event, because of the nature of the game, so the guests need a period of time to organize." Dr. Ruan Li said: "The barbecue is now for everyone to catch the wind and wash the dust, the real event theme will be It starts in the afternoon. The afternoon is the report meeting. Those who participate in the seminar must submit a paper in advance, and the experts in the seminar will select it, and then send excellent and characteristic papers to others. Because they are received Most of the invited guests are not professional, so this selection will not be too much resistance.

After the selection of the paper, until the end of the seminar, everyone must study the topics given in the seminar at this morning's meeting, and submit the paper again before the end of the penultimate day, and report on the last day. During the event, the seminar will organize everyone to visit the psychiatric hospital. Of course, the content of the visit is related to the given topic. Basically, it is based on the clinical routine diagnosis of the patients on the published list-that is, patients like you. However, not everyone can only choose the same patient. The candidate patients on the list include you. There are seven people. They can choose one of them. Of course, the seminar encourages comprehensive discussions to find multiple patients. Similar and different in. "

"It sounds like a lot of things." I said.

"Yes, a total of one week." Dr. Ruan Li said: "When the invitation was originally issued, it was only three days, but for some reason, the seminar was temporarily extended. However, for those who really want to participate in this event For people, doubling time is not a problem. Expert-level guidance, collaboration, and the free use of cutting-edge equipment are all very appealing. Originally, the slogan promoted by the seminar was to enhance oneself in communication and to understand the world , Looking for like-minded companions. I feel that this is just a person in front of me, someone with a decent mentality, just someone who has the idea of ​​going abroad to play, and basically has given up after encountering those things. Those who can stay are firm People who want to participate in this seminar, such people will never complain because of the extended time. "

"However, if something happens halfway, what about people who want to leave?" I asked.

"Then I'm sorry. During the seminar, you are not allowed to use your own mobile phone." Dr. Ruan Li said: "The seminar is equipped with a new mobile phone for everyone. It is used exclusively during the seminar and not after the seminar. Take away. "

"I feel really strict, won't it cause others to doubt and dissatisfaction?".

"Of course not." Dr. Ruan Li said deeply: "Because, this is the place. This activity is also such an activity. The relevant restrictions have been declared in advance while inviting each other. Yes, and the seminar has a weight of trust in the psychology community. I am not the host of this seminar, but this is only because my research is more personal, and most of the time, the seminar is a All kinds of constraints. An organization must have its own core concept, and force members to follow this concept, but this concept, but not a few people can shake. Such a situation will make people who join the organization subject to various restrictions, I do n’t like it very much I have my own ideas, but there is no guarantee that ~ lightnovelpub.net ~ must follow the organization's philosophy and direction, so, as now, it is appropriate to cooperate with each other if necessary, and to separate without it. Of course, in order to achieve cooperation, it is necessary to pay more than the members of the organization. As it happens, the things I have are also extremely important for them. precious."

Dr. Ruan Li, who said so, nodded his head and said, "The way top experts think, and it is also a unique female perspective."

Dr. Ruan Li is very confident and active, but this style matches her image very well. I never felt that there was anything strange about the confident Dr. Ruan Li. On the contrary, if she behaved as silently as I did, it made people doubt. However, even Dr. Ruan Li, when talking about White Claudia and the end of the world, can't help but bring a bitter smile. Those things, in her statement, are "the most terrible thorns in a career Difficult, but never afraid and hopeless. "

I felt motivated and courageous in her, and at the same time I seemed to see Fu Jiang's shadow. (To be continued ...)

1280 seminar schedule:

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