Gao Chuan is not a genius. I have known this for a long time. Gao Chuan is a stupid, immature high school student. It is the most ordinary student in the world. Even if it is narrowed to a city in the country, It can only be regarded as an ordinary top student. The degree of excellence may not have reached the general level of top students in the talent school. Before obtaining the magic pattern, his talents can only serve as a honest student. Even if the magic pattern is obtained, such extraordinary talents as the chain judgment are developed, but its inherent quality only stays at the level of being a top student. The power brought by Mageweave is like increasing and developing on the original foundation, but the original foundation also limits the foundation for later development-not to say, it is impossible to reach the same height as genius, but, in the same The time, within the same effort, will only be further and further away from the real genius.

Yes, even if you believe that you can continue to improve yourself, you can reach the height of a genius, but the time you have is limited, and the height that you cannot reach in a limited time is just a delusion. . And more often, people can increase their time, often less time than people think they have, this is not because of limited life time, but that people will be weak.

Old age will weaken.

Sickness will also weaken.

Emotional instability can weaken people.

Rational imbalances can also be debilitating.

These weaknesses occur earlier than death.

Therefore, Gao Chuan, who is not a genius, cannot get the same gain as a genius at the same time and in the same effort. Even if you're lucky, you're a real genius. No, in the eyes of real monsters, it is just "barely".

Boring, ordinary, barely, so-so. Not bad, it's okay ... I have heard this kind of description in my ears more than once, and every time I feel: ah, this is really the most accurate description of myself.

Therefore, as a monster, You Jiang said to me: Originally I felt bored, but after fighting, I unexpectedly seemed to be underestimated-such words made me somewhat happy. As for whether she really has these emotions, does she really think so? Isn't it a kind of cynicism, I didn't even have it :: ≌∷≌, justified. Because my brain capacity is too small, even if I have some psychological knowledge, I have been using this knowledge to judge the situation and recognize the meaning of others, but in the face of such a monster that is difficult to understand its existence, it is still very cramped. of. When it comes to people. I can't fully judge the true meaning of the other party when dealing with monsters. Where does so much leisure come from? If I can, I certainly want to concentrate on simpler battles, but my thinking is not controlled in many cases, even if I think it should be more constricted, but I ca n’t really do it.

and so. Although I claim to like to think, in fact, to a large extent, I have to think and have to diverge, just like the mental activities of imagination, conjecture, fantasy. Barely confined to a range related to the object in front of you, otherwise, these thoughts will only spread out aimlessly, further affecting their movement state.

I think that no one should like to think about unanswered questions, and no one should be willing to use one's own limit state to barely face a dilemma that almost exceeds one's talents. However, when we really have to face these dilemmas, it is no longer a question of whether we like it or not.

I had to stand here, have to watch You Jiang, listen to every sentence of her, guess every information she disclosed, and contact every potential possibility. This is hard and painful.

I ’m stupid. In these days of adventure, there are a lot of things that are plausible and unclear in my mind. However, it is impossible to ignore them, and there is no way to escape, because these have already happened to themselves Things are an established result. So, even if it was reluctant, I came here. At this moment, I had to think about the issues that were "not necessary" in the eyes of others.

It's really embarrassing.

Really confused.

Everyone I saw was hurt, but until then, I was no different from those victims. In the end, there are so many people who can fight, but the only reason I am left is only because I value this moment more than they do, and I have the power to barely participate in it.

Although it is reluctantly, it has already reached the standard. From this perspective, I would like to thank this kind of "reluctantly" because, maybe, in some places, there are some people who are just "reluctantly" "There is no power, so no matter what they think, they cannot participate in person.

Therefore, from this experience, I learned a truth: the so-called "barely", "okay", "ordinary" is not a derogatory term, but a higher standard of the minimum, in more Sometimes, it can even be regarded as a compliment, an accident, an acknowledgment. For me who is not a genius, it is the basis on which I can do more things.

Actually, I am a bit lucky. I think so.

"Yeah, to make you happy, even a clown is enough." My eyes didn't move away from You Jiang's face at all. Her broken arm has recovered, but the dropped wrist is still caught in my hand. "Even if it is reluctant, you can do something."

"Yes." You Jiang seems to have the interest in talking, maybe it is delaying time, but for me, time is also important. Whether she really wants the time for this conversation, I am more than She paid more attention to the time of the conversation, "So, eat it." She said so.

"Eat?" I don't quite understand.

"In order to make me happier ..." You Jiang's smile is the devil's smile that people describe. It is sharp, like ridicule, and with extreme maliciousness. When you see it, it makes people think it is not a good thing. It will develop into a worse situation than you think, but you have to do it, and the other party is like seeing through the fate of this moment. It's like flipping through the story and joking about the characters. I saw it, her eyes fell on her broken right palm that I grabbed. I immediately understood what she meant, but I didn't feel surprised.

"Eat it. Eat my right hand." You Jiang opened his long hair in front of his face, revealing his empty left eye. It can't be described as "empty", deep, dark and like a cave that hides many things, "I allow you to eat it. After eating, you are no longer barely reluctant."

What ordinary people hear is hard to accept, but it is as usual in Youjiang's mouth.

"However, if you eat my right hand, you still can't kill me." You Jianglu smiled, "I will eat it back in one bite. Eat your body, dig out your eyes-left eye. It's left The eyes are not all eaten, but leave your left eye embedded in this eye socket. "She pointed to her empty left eye hole.

"Left eye? Why is it the left eye?" I asked back, when she showed her left eye, I felt something was wrong. For others, the left eye is meaningless, however. For me, the left eye is of great significance. In this left eye, there are many stories about "Jiang". In a sense, this left eye is more likely to be regarded as a kind of activity embodiment of "Jiang". My left eye is not mine, but "Jiang", digging out the pain of the left eye. It still remains in my memory to this day. Although there are no details about the scene at that time, I can hardly remember it, and Zhen Jiang's face became very blurred, but. Only this left eye, as usual, with convulsions and pain, let me clearly remember its existence and abnormality.

I don't think it makes sense for You Jiang to lift her left eye at this time.

just--

"I don't know." You Jiang replied without thinking: "Although I don't know, but I just want this left eye. It's not the kind of collectibles. Although this impulse is getting stronger and stronger, but it is I do n’t think I can take it. Why do you think it is? Gao Chuan. "

I didn't speak, just stared at her empty left eye socket.

"Maybe ..." You Jiang grinned again, "That's my left eye, but I don't know when, under what circumstances, why it is on you. However, I already know your information, Although you are here, in fact, there is a Gaochuan outside the repeater, in London. Your presence is obviously not normal, and even, you are not an independent existence you think you are at all. People. Ah, is that true? I understand, it must be so, you, just a puppet who thinks you are human. "Her eyes turned away, as if she was looking at something in the distance, and said to herself He said to himself: "No, you don't seem to be stupid to that point, so maybe you also realize that you are not a normal existence, then, are all your actions based on the premise that you are not normal? ? "

With that said, she looked at me again and asked: "Hey, clown, Gao Chuan, what do you think you are? Is it human? Is it a monster? Or is it just a pile of debris?" Speaking of which, she was like When I told a joke, I was touched by the joke and laughed in my abdomen. However, I do n’t think the point of the joke of these words is. Her words and behavior made me a little chilly, but I felt that I was not shaken, but only because of the horror behind her unscrupulous, it was really chilling. For her question, I already have my own answer. This is the answer after thinking for countless times and getting the answer, but countless times for self-doubt, and thinking again and again.

"I'm not a person, a monster, or a residue." I said that I came to a conclusion, perhaps not the most correct conclusion, but it was a result that has not been shaken in repeated questioning, "I am nothing , I am Gao Chuan. "

"..." You Jiang's laughter stopped, and her deep eyes seemed to penetrate my soul. "It seems that you have a different idea than ordinary people about what Gaochuan is."

"Gaochuan is Gaochuan." I said, but I also knew very well that for myself, the so-called "Gaochuan" is no longer a certain independent personality, but a more highly conceptualized, complex and cohesive symbol. He can have countless kinds of self-cognition, countless personalities, different thoughts, means and behavior principles, but no matter whether Gao Chuan is a human or a monster, who is what, what is bound to bear the same responsibility, a same The desire, the end of its thinking and action, is the same goal.

Gao Chuan is nothing, Gao Chuan is Gao Chuan, and I am Gao Chuan-such an answer seems unreasonable, unsolvable, unclear, unreasonable, and obscure, but in my mind, it is the best and most correct answer. No matter how others think of me and "Gao Chuan", I think of me like this and "Gao Chuan" like this. There is absolutely no need to separate the different Gaochuan and these ambiguous things into a coherent level.

"So ~ lightnovelpub.net ~ What exactly is Gao Chuan?" You Jiang asked again, she seemed really confused. But I don't understand what is confusing. I feel that my words, although it is a turbid expression, are in the turbidity and cover all the meanings I want to express. If it is not understandable, I do not intend to explain more.

Moreover, I do not think that You Jiang is really confused. Emotions such as confusion should never appear on monsters like You Jiang. No, perhaps it should be said that You Jiang will not be confused. All emotional expressions are just a disguise. My instinct tells myself that this is not my prejudice, but the fact-in fact, You Jiang knows what I am talking about and what I want to express. She teased me like a clown, with deep malice.

And I never intended to follow her pace.

The content of the conversation itself is not the real purpose for me at all. However, judging from You Jiang's performance, she wants my left eye, but it is something she has to believe. She exists as Youjiang. Under my direct observation of her so closely, she is independent from Zhenjiang, Fujiang and Zuojiang. Although independent, she is deeper and accepts The same information feedback leads to thoughts and behaviors that are more in line with the existence of You Jiang-this is what I know about her. (To be continued.) Uw