What Dr. Ruan Li is doing on the console, I can't see her, but I can feel it. ◇ ↓, the laboratory is filled with the sound of mechanical operation, from time to time a mechanical arm passes over me, various probing machinery rolls on my limbs, and the grating shines into my eyes, making me unable to help Close your eyes. My body's consciousness is becoming more and more acute. I feel the pinholes piercing my skin. These needles with different functions pierce my head, neck, shoulders, body, hands, and feet. After about a minute, the soreness, heaviness and numbness of the muscles began to subside, and then there was a stronger sense of foreign body and pain.

The tinnitus gradually became stronger, the head dizzy, as if the ceiling was spinning.

When I first woke up, my consciousness was in a relatively intense and sober state. After getting rid of the nightmare, I felt more sleepy. I still remember what happened before, from when I took the "paradise" to when I entered "the deepest night", followed by the sacrifices in the gathering place, the fierce battle with Novsky and the moon god, during which mysterious organizations The movements, and the appearance and disappearance of Fu Jiang. I thought all this was acceptable, but at the moment it seemed to be turned into a kind of pure information intelligence, stirring in my mind, which made me feel a sense of difficulty.

From time to time, I feel that I have not yet left the nightmare, and sometimes I can see faint illusions. It seems to be far away, but it seems very close. If I think it is "the deepest night", it will become The familiar blood moon and ashes in the deep night. At this time, the laboratory is like a corroded, destroyed ruin. The broken ceiling allows me to see the "Moon God" watching. I heard the sound of fighting, I heard the sound of fierce fighting. Hearing the crazy and desperate shouts, I could still feel the wind blowing, so Doctor Ruan Li behind him seemed to have become a monster in the deepest night.

And when I deny all of them, they disappear, and it seems to be telling me with this disappearance. All this is just my illusion.

In fact, I have long been unable to tell where is reality and where is illusion. For me, everything that is happening is profoundly affecting myself. It is impossible to prevent it simply by treating it as an illusion. This effect. Therefore, the illusion that is happening in front of me is for me. It's just a kind of daily life.

I am calm, not panicked, and not afraid. I felt my weakness quietly, and felt the weird scene of the tooth claw.

There is no way to accept or not to accept, just to watch quietly, listen, and feel.

Dr. Ruan Li came up and replaced me with a new medicine. The needle tube pierced my spine and vein at the same time. And present a real-time perspective view of my body in front of my eyes, so that I can see these agents enter the body. The picture that triggered the change. But I know that this is just Dr. Ruan Li's psychological adjustment for me.

From the state of excitement to weakness and calmness, in Dr. Ruan Li's eyes, it was probably "a change in theory", so she seemed to be at ease.

"After other patients take Paradise, there will also be rejection reactions." Dr. Ruan Li sat next to me and said: "However, this is just my opinion. Other people in the seminar paid more attention to this rejection reaction and regarded it as The right path, so pay more attention to any excitement and deepening of this rejection reaction. "

"Isn't rejection a bad reaction?" I asked.

"How to define good or bad?" Dr. Ruan Li paused and said, "Our concept is different. I think it's bad, but others think it's good. I think it's a case of rejection. I disagree. "

"I believe you, mother." I said.

Dr. Ruan Li just smiled, her smile was a little haggard, although still full of confidence, but it made me feel a sense of regret.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"It's a little late." Dr. Ruan Li said: "They have gone too far on what they think is right, and I can no longer provide them any help, no, it should be said that they know that my research and their 'S research has reached a fork in the road, and since then, there will be no intersection for a long time. In theory, our research starts from the same point and will eventually return to the same point. However, from separation to How long will the return process last? This time is enough for them to give up. "

"Abandon you? Mom." I asked.

"Yes." Dr. Ruan Li's expression is still gentle, and he can't see the precipice of the situation. "If we had room to use each other before, then now, we are opposing enemies."

"Did they already know?" I couldn't help asking. I do n’t understand what happened after I entered the deepest night, but I feel a little bit that the key to this change from mutual use to complete opposition is not what I did in the deepest night, It's because I took the paradise myself and woke up after entering the deep night. I am guessing whether this situation has been verified.

"Perhaps." Dr. Ruan Li shook his head. "I think I have made confidential measures, but the equipment, assistants and venues for these experiments are all obtained from the seminar, so it is difficult to determine. Are these confidentiality measures really effective. Achuan, you only need to understand that this time, it is our victory. Your condition is under control because my research has achieved results, and the reason why my research can produce results is Because of the strong support of the seminar. I have different ideas from them, and may later evolve into a more serious opposition, but this does not erase the fact that they have made great efforts in my research. "

"What the **** do you want to say? Mom." I couldn't help asking. Her words sounded like an excuse to the enemy. I do n’t worry if Dr. Ruan Li still remembers the seminar. After all, her identity determines the relationship between her and the seminar. I ’m just worried. Would her thoughts cause her fatal trouble.

Dr. Ruan Li's expression was a little haggard, I think, it is inevitable that there is such a complex mentality of opposite and understanding.

"It's just feelings. I just want to tell you, Achuan. Don't hold resentment and disgust for the other party because they are the enemy and stand on opposite positions. Don't let yourself be motivated to act, yes Built on this stubborn emotion. "Dr. Ruan Li said this, paused, and asked me:" You do n’t like seminars, right? Then, your choices and behavior. Is it based on this kind of Do you like emotions? Or do you build on your own principles? Have you thought about it carefully? Achuan "

"Yes, I have thought about it." For Dr. Ruan Li's question, I said without hesitation, I know what she meant, but this answer was actually in the last doomsday illusion, I already thought about it, And I still believe so firmly: "I have people and things that I hate, but all my choices and actions. The original intention is not to hate and hate, but to save and protect the people I love. Maybe, Those people have done things that are not in my moral sense, and even hurt the people I protect, so I think they are bad people, but I target them not because they are bad people in my eyes. "

I took a deep breath and looked at Dr. Ruan Li with serious and sincere eyes: "Heroes may label others as good or bad because they are subjective, but they will definitely not do things because of these subjective label."

"... Is it?" Dr. Ruan Li did not comment. She just smiled and said, "Achuan is a man who has always dreamed of becoming a hero."

"But, Mom. I feel like I can never be a hero." My heart is calm and full of melancholy, because, I know how difficult and contradictory the hero's path is. But the things to be faced are often not the result of "everyone is good", or even, it is impossible to distinguish between their own choices. Is the impact on others good or bad? Therefore, we can only believe that we are right and act with such conviction. But I have seen it. In fact, what I think is right has also caused many people to be distressed, disgusted by others, and even hurt them. Let them regard me as a hatred and my choice as a mistake.

There are many times when I ca n’t convince myself that other people ’s choices are wrong, only I am right. All you can do is not to admit, but not to deny others, but just observe yourself, do what you think is correct, and not criticize others' mistakes with your own subjectivity. Maybe, sometimes this kind of practice is needed in battle to disintegrate the beliefs of others, but even when I do it, I do n’t take it as a justification in my heart, just treat this kind of attack on others as a psychological one. Tactical only.

"That's fine. This is enough." Dr. Ruan Li said, stroking my forehead, saying: "I don't want Achuan to really become a hero because the hero always sacrifices himself and saves others at the end of the story. This is not a stereotypical story, but is determined by the hero ’s own contradiction. No one can convince the hero, nor can he save the hero, and the hero never needs to be saved. Their choice may be stupid in the eyes of others. , But for themselves, it ’s just an ordinary way to take their own path, and it must reach an end. So, the hero is calm when he dies. However, Achuan, I do n’t like you dying as a hero, I hope you can Live on. "

I wanted to say something, but was interrupted by Dr. Ruan Li. She said, "It looks like your state has started to recover." At this time, I realized that the feeling of dullness and pain had disappeared completely. . The feeling of being penetrated by a foreign body still exists, and the pain is the same, but the spirit and strength have generally returned to the usual level.

Dr. Ruan Li got up and left my field of vision. After a while, I felt that all the needles pierced into the body began to break away, and then the shackles of the body were released. I lay down for a while before trying to straighten my body without any discomfort. I was active for a while. When I woke up, the series of abnormal feelings on my body seemed to be an illusion. There was no trace of the place where the needle was pierced.

"The paradise stimulates the human body, stimulates potential, and eliminates side effects. It is exactly like the human body strengthening drugs in science fiction works." Dr. Ruan Li said on the side: "Although the process is very painful, there are also great dangers to life, but The positive effect is also very significant. In fact, no matter what kind of drugs, they are both harmful and beneficial, but only by the ratio of the two, can they be divided into poisons and good medicines. From now on, you will not have nightmares anymore. No longer will be troubled by schizophrenia and hallucinations. "

Dr. Ruan Li is very confident, but what I see in front of me is proving her mistakes. Whether nightmares and schizophrenia will improve, I do n’t know, but hallucinations still exist. The image of Dr. Ruan Li is alienating in front of my eyes. She has not turned into the three heads and six arms in the nightmare. It looks weird and weird, but she is melting.

Dr. Ruan Li is like a burning candle. After the hair and facial features are melted, they become blurred.

I think this is an illusion, but this illusion reminds me of patients with doomsday syndrome-I suddenly felt that Dr. Ruan Li in the hospital reality was also infected by the "virus" and became a patient with doomsday syndrome, so that she The image in this world of repeaters has produced such changes.

But I couldn't tell Dr. Ruan Li in front of her ~ lightnovelpub.net ~ She didn't notice it at all, but believed that my condition had been alleviated. I took a deep breath, and Dr. Ruan Li ’s image changed back to normal again—in a white coat, with half-framed glasses, a bun, and a researcher ’s seriousness and seriousness, and The joy after the results came out.

"I feel good." I stretched out before her eyes and said, "I never felt so good."

"Then we should leave." Dr. Ruan Li said: "My friends in the seminar will buy me a little time, but I am not sure how much time I can get. So we must seize the time and leave this peninsula. "She said that, opened a side cabinet and lifted a huge suitcase from it. She talked eloquently as if she had forgotten that the peninsula was in a storm. Perhaps, she was really ready, even planning to travel through the storm.

For me, she is willing to leave here, there is really a way to leave here, and she is ready to leave, it would be better. I know that everything will not be so easy, but even if only she can leave, I must try.

I picked up Dr. Ruan Li's suitcase, and she is now full of confidence in "Paradise", and she has no doubt about my strength. (To be continued ...)