I have realized that, like the mysterious experts who are "treason", I am undergoing a change from the end of thinking. My reason is telling me a little bit, the correctness of the doomsday truth, and relative to them, myself How stupid.

However, I still feel that I am different from others. I have never denied my stupidity, limitations and mistakes. Although I can draw many conclusions from constant thinking, these conclusions are not the most important to me, nor are they the ultimate guide to behavior. I am more stupid and narrow-minded than other sensible people, so no matter whether the people of the Mar Jones family are really genius; whether the doomsday truth really has the ultimate correctness; whatever it is against them, Whether my companions who have been fighting side by side with me have been stupid or smart; for me, they are not the basis for any plan.

I just want to make the person I love be happy no matter what. I'm no longer a patient who can't even accept them.

My rational thinking, no matter how, can not give a way to achieve this result, and still rigorously prove that such a pursuit is meaningless and impossible at all, so I gave up it.

Although I can still think, there is logic, and there is reason, but I gave up these things.

They are working, but my actions have taken the initiative away from them.

It is because they are separated from them, so when other people use logic to understand me, they will eventually fail to understand me. When others try to predict me with "thinking", there will be mistakes. They are afraid of me, saying that I am strong, thinking that my strength comes from things that do not belong to people, but in fact, I think this is not a problem of "strong and weak", but only that we are "not on the same line."

Can love save everything? Is such a human thing that reflects the limitations of human beings really so powerful? The salvation of love looks like a naive fairy tale, not what a mature person with normal logic should say, not scientific truth. Whether it is implementing the truth of the end or opposing it, "love" should not be the most essential need.

Yes, in their thinking, this is the only correct and rational logic.

However, I have long given up this logic of correct reason, so this negation is meaningless to me.

I can give my answer at any time: Yes, love can save everything. Love can transcend everything, not limited and infinite, not micro and macro, not science and mystery. This is not a rigorous conclusion based on reason, but it is the ending that I must implement.

"... I can't understand, Mr. Gao Chuan." After listening for a long time, I said to me: "What do you want to tell me? What kind of inspiration should I have? How should I respond? What about you? I want to deal with the life of the body, how can all this help me? "

"I tell you this, not to inspire you, not to make you respond, and there is no profound truth, and probably no help." I replied: "But, I think that the reason why I can deal with the truth of the end is positive Because I think so. And if you do n’t even realize the realization of an irrational result, you probably ca n’t cope with the life of the body supported by the doomsday truth. Take a step back and say that even if you can defeat the life of the body, the end After their sacrifices, you will also find that the actual impact of this result is not as correct as you expected. Can you accept such a result? "

"No, of course not. I can't understand, how can the planned steps of destroying the enemy a little bit become the wrong result?" Ban still had doubts all over his face, "This is not logical at all."

"That's why I told you these things." I tried to warn her and let her know the seriousness of the problem: "In the face of the situation involving the Tianmen Project, you can't logically evaluate your behavior in this way in advance. The correctness of this, and use this correctness as the goal of guidance, otherwise, when you actually observe the Tianmen Project, your spirit, your position, your seemingly firm consciousness now, and your persistence, It will collapse. Just like those I have seen who eventually joined the doomsday truth. If you ca n’t understand what I told you, then you have to construct a thought that belongs only to you, one that is enough to resist the end Truth and the thoughts of the people of the Mar Jones family. For you, this thought must be substantial enough to support all your present and future actions without any shaking ... at least to the extent of Father Sissen, even if you It is impossible to prove that it is really so powerful in the moment. In the world of thought that belongs only to you, you should be fanatic. "

"... impossible, this is too irrational, I hate fanatics of any idea, I hate that crazy feeling." Chi showed a disgusted expression, "I thought you were not such a person, Mr. Gao Chuan. Why Will you become like this? "

"Because, otherwise, I can't support the ending I desire to see." I was not disappointed by her disgust. "If I fall, no one will come to rescue me, and no one can do it." What about you? Be reserved and look forward to, can others do what you cannot do? "

"I ... I didn't think about it that way," said Chi, then silenced for a while. I listen to the sound in the pipeline. There is no one other than us, but here is not quiet, and the sound made here is by no means the rustling sound I once heard in the reality of the hospital. It is unique here after the silence. , And the sound that is completely different from other places becomes even louder. There is no night and day here, the light is artificial, and it never spreads out from far or near corners. It is pale, light yellow, sometimes a little dangerous orange red, and it has more dim and deep colors. These The light and the shadows commensurate with it outline the outline of things, but when it falls into people's eyes, the outline will expand and deform in the mind, becoming something paradoxical and full of fear.

The sound here is so commensurate with the scenery reflected only in the eyes of the human being, and the swelled sight in the human brain. Mysterious experts often say that the scenery in the ruins of the ruling bureau is monotonous, pale, dry, and cold. However, in my eyes, even such terrible scenery is also full of temperature. I did n’t hate anyone long ago—whether it ’s the end of the illusion or the reality of the hospital, whether it ’s the doomsday truth or against the doomsday truth, whether it ’s ordinary people or non-humans, I fight them , Quarrels, life and death, never because I hate them, hate them, on the contrary, I love them deeply, I understand them, I think I can understand why all kinds of must happen between each other Bet on the conflict of life, why speak coldly, why blame and mock each other.

When many people hate the ugliness embodied in these contradictions, I can feel the **** between them, whether it is ugliness or beauty, or justice and evil, and exudes a touch of warmth. The love I feel from it cannot be shared with others, because no one believes that in the contradiction between life and death, there is no right or wrong, no humanity ugly, but full of warmth and love.

I understand that they cannot look at it all from my perspective, and even so, I never thought of giving them up. Occasionally, I will also fall into the corners of ordinary and narrow-minded thinking, and then use the attitude and language that I usually feel disgusted to abuse, vilify, and slander the guy I feel nasty for a while. However, this has never allowed I am happy that every time I reflect on it afterwards, I always realize that this is the ignorance brought about by my limitations.

Over and over again, I felt warmth and love from contradictions. I did things I hated over and over again, to treat my enemies maliciously, introspected again and again, and felt how foolish I was again and again. And narrow. In such a repetition, I will also feel bored, but the rushing thoughts and emotions cannot stop, but in this repeated mood, behavior, and thought that it seems impossible to stop as long as I live, I can also feel at a certain moment. Intangible things that make people calm.

Just like now, in this silence, the sound that never stops in silence-movement and sound never stop, it is not peaceful physically, but my heart calms down in their movement .

I do n’t know if Pan can be as calm as me at this time. I think she should calm down, even if she has just experienced a horrible sacrifice, and the future is so confused, she will be like me in the past, as Like every mysterious expert, I deeply feel that my own strength is so weak and fragile, and the bonds between my companions are so fragile, but I still need to rely on such strength and bonds to fight against those who are watching and seeing growing. The enemies, how desperate it is. I hope that she can calm down from this despair and confusion. If she can feel the warmth and calm that still exist in this life-and-death struggle, she will definitely be able to free herself from this despair and pain temporarily.

It is impossible to escape from despair and suffering completely, because no matter how strong she is here, from the perspective of the hospital's reality, she must be just a patient. Unable to escape, unpredictable, the pain that will inevitably lead to physical and mental breakdown began when she realized that she was "born", and death was never the point. No matter whether it was in the hospital or in the illusion of doomsday, life was like Hell reincarnation goes back and forth until it is completely blank. If you realize this, but can't break free, then this life is too painful and desperate. If you can have at least a moment of warmth and calm, then you will definitely save so little in the future more painful and desperate journey Let's have strength and hope.

Qi, so young, so full of hope, ideas and energy. Probably not the same as I just want to free the person I love from this painful cycle. In her heart, there are more beautiful and huge dreams, and there are ideas to save more people and help more people. -In this sense, she is actually more qualified to be a hero than me.

However, I know very well how painful and desperate a patient wants to be a hero, whether in the reality of the hospital or in the illusion of doomsday. I used to do that, I fell down, and I saw more people try to do this and fell down. Now there is one more, it seems that I am going to do that, but I have nothing to help her, I can only pray for her-I can no longer be a hero, but this does not mean that I like to see those People who want to be heroes and are qualified to become heroes ~ lightnovelpub.net ~ are all tortured to death by the crazy, desperate and painful reality. When they gave up their dreams of being naive and naive but made me feel warm in order to live, I also felt heartache and sorrow.

What can I do? I am just a stupid human being. I have lost the qualification of a hero. I just want to make people around me happy. It is absolutely impossible for me to appear when she needs help. I can only continue to tell her everything I have learned in my life, even if the limitations of people, the gap between people, so that my words and ideas can not really be conveyed to her heart, I can only do it again Tell me everywhere. When I said everything I wanted to express, there was only silence.

There is also an end to silence. Blocking us at the end is the towering valve. The crimson valve was all over and underneath, and every screw seemed to emit a dangerous smell, describing the unpredictability behind the door. The visual height of more than three hundred meters is like some kind of hint. The seemingly inadvertent lines and scars on the door are lightly mysterious. I don't think that there is a smooth road behind this door, and obviously I don't think so. Even so, if we do not open it, there is no other way.

I felt it was like my life. Calm always opened a door inadvertently in the corner. Outside the door were terrible enemies, some enemies, some non-human enemies, some material enemies, There are also inner enemies. If you just do n’t open it for your own happiness, you can still feel the happiness if you stay in place, but if you want to make others happy and save the people you love, you must open it.

If it is said that the Mar Jones family has its own "Tianmen Plan", and others have their own "Tianmen Plan", then this fan seems to be everywhere, but in fact it is not the door, it is my "Tianmen".