I understand that when Miyake was unclear about the truth of "Gaochuan", her emotions towards "Gaochuan" were all the continuation of the previous Gaochuan, although I as the current "Gaochuan" also occupied a part of these emotions , But most of them were born because of the last Gaochuan. шШщm | No * bounce * window * small * say * web | I passed on the information of the previous Gaochuan, but it is not a continuation of the previous Gaochuan in a full sense-this recognition emerged in my borderline After I became aware of it, I became a little bit uncomfortable with the interpersonal relationship I inherited from the last Gaochuan. This feeling of unfitness was like mixing sand in a quiet instrument, each time related to the previous Gaochuan. Even if there is the coordination and suppression of the brain hardware, it is impossible to completely wipe out the creaking noise.

This kind of murmur is illusory, but for me, it is real. It seems like a poison that penetrates into the soul, so I can't ignore it. Admittedly, under the control of brain hardware, I will not produce any negative emotions, but these murmurs are quite eye-catching and do cause some subtle interference to me. I sometimes even guess that this uncomfortable feeling is precisely one of the purposes of "Jiang" pulling me into the boundary of entry, and these murmurs will eventually become a factor that destroys me.

Even so, when I think I should be "myself", not the continuation of the previous Gaochuan, nor the collection of other Gaochuan's memory information, these murmurs caused by inheritance have become things that must be carried. Because these inheritances from the previous Gaochuans are extremely important, and the things that cannot be discarded are the important factors that constitute the existence of "I". Leaving these things completely aside, stubbornness makes oneself “clean”, but instead makes oneself incomplete, and is no longer the present “self”.

More importantly, I have no time to replenish myself in a "clean" but "incomplete" state. Moreover, the running trend of this world-the development of "script" and the deepening interference of "Jiang"-made it impossible for me to make a difference even after discarding all the information from the previous "Gaochuan".

So contradictory, so chaotic, I want to prove myself. I also want to be recognized, and I want to be accepted by others as a Gaochuan that exists at this moment-I know, in fact, these are some pseudo-propositions, I ca n’t do it myself, all these contradictory and chaotic ideas can also be called Self-deception. However, thoughts did occur, indeed, I did not have any emotions. All these chaotic, contradictory and self-deceiving ideas have no color. However, these ideas cannot be completely erased from my mind anyway.

I think, maybe I want to fall in love again, and say "the first meeting, please advise" to those people, and then, experience the "first time" with them again, like and hate again Go all this and be liked and hated by all of it.

but. I can't do it. The time that belongs to me is not a start for those who value me, nor can it be reversed. Moreover, for me now, "like" and "hate" are not emotions, just thoughts. As I said to Misaki "I like you" here. However, I cannot produce the specific emotion represented by the word "like", just a kind of pair that cannot be generated or expressed. Intuition should describe the emotions that exist.

This description is so pale, I should be painful and unwilling, but there is no such thing in my emotions.

I still remember that when I was just born, I was not so cold as a machine. In my memory, the brain hardware is not every moment, as it is now, every moment, indiscriminately suppressing all emotions. Although at the beginning, I thought I was already a machine, and it would n’t be any worse, at that time, my only thought was "just like this"-maybe, if I can express my emotions at will, The feeling of thought must be a very complicated emotion.

I am a little confused. There are obviously many things worth thinking about. The situation is obviously complicated, but I have not grasped everything. In theory, I have no time to think about these philosophies about "self". However, I was thinking about these things, thinking about them irresistibly, just like returning to the light, wanting to keep something unique to myself.

Misaki's confession is not pure to me, but I really hope she tells me often. Her words made me feel that my existence in this world is meaningful. It ’s not just her. I want to hear Bajing, Jinjiang, and other members of the whisperer. Listen to them, how much they care about me, how much they like me, how indispensable my words are.

and then?

then……

I thought about "then" and suddenly noticed that the corners of my eyes were a little wet. The coffee pot in my hand was deformed in a crunchy sound because it was gripped too hard.

"Achuan?" Sakuya's deep voice seemed to speak to my soul. I was awake and turned my head to look at her. She was covered by the mask and the helmet of the "Stargazer". She used a voice that seemed to be screened by the covering and became free of extra impurities. "Are you asking?" She held out her hand and wiped the corners of my wet eyes.

"Then ..." I whispered, but, what is behind "Then", I don't know, or I don't want to know, I don't want to think. In fact, I already knew what was behind "Then", but, at this moment, in the time that I could live in the future, I was determined to abandon it.

I know that as long as I am still implementing the Super Takagawa Project, the word "then" will surely be followed by a cruel text for the world. As long as you still consider yourself a member of this world, you must bear the shock and contradiction brought about by "reality" and suffer cruelty from this. No matter how unwilling to look squarely, you will certainly see that no matter how unwilling to say it, the result is still doomed.

However, at least at this moment, the corners of my eyes were wet, and I thought, I am willing to accept this cruel and ostrich-like behavior.

My life is so short; what I long for. How hard it is to get; how ridiculous my choices are; but I hope that this is my life, even if it is just a clown-like life.

The corners of my eyes are wet. It turns out that I am really not without emotions or emotions, just a machine, and it is not so beautiful to be a machine. It won't be my ultimate attribution.

The brain hardware suppresses emotions, but it cannot obliterate sensibility. I also know that every time my emotions boil, a variety of ideas will be born. When my sensibility is working, I can also act to ignore the quantified calculation results of the brain hardware and say Words against reason.

And my body, the remaining 40% of the part that has not been protified, is not just decoration. Because of these emotions and sensibilities, it still causes the body to respond accordingly.

I am Gao Chuan, and I have both brain and brain hardware. Sixty percent of the body is body-oriented, and forty percent of the original body is Gaochuan.

This form of dual structure should appear for the first time in all "Gaochuan". However, it is not because of the "reality" factors that make up my mapped body, nor is it just for the convenience of executing the plan, nor is there any part that is only covert useless. Brain and protozoa, brain hardware and prosthesis, the mode of coexistence of the two. It must have a profound meaning.

"It's okay." I said to Misaki: "I will protect you, and I will be your hero."

and so--

"No matter who it is, what it is, what monster, it can't stop me from getting a spiritual integration device."

——Even if the enemy is "Jiang", even if the enemy is an abnormal "Gaochuan".

"I want to protect you in my way."

--because. I don't trust "Jiang", so I don't trust the choice of "Gaochuan" where there is abnormality. So, all I can believe is myself. Even myself is at stake. To be a hero, you must be a hero, only a hero.

"Let's go, Sakuya, the rest time is over." I stood up and threw the coffee can that was made of metal trash in a trash can more than ten meters away. "Even if I die, I can't separate you from you."

Not long ago, I was extremely vigilant about this state of absent-mindedness, believing that it was a sign of deterioration of the condition, and it was related to Jiang, but now I feel that it is not the case. Perhaps, I should cherish these missed times, and cherish the thoughts I had when I missed. There is a voice that tells me gently that these ridiculous and unknowable, contradictory and chaotic thoughts are really precious things.

Yes, I now believe that this is indeed the most precious thing for me, the most noble thing for me, Gaochuan.

"Huh." Sakuya nodded gently, grabbed my arm, and walked with me to the wall where the entrance to the service center was located.

I have n’t told Jung about my decision, and it ’s not clear what they plan to do or whether they have made detailed preparations. Because, I must first tell the file to my decision, I have done my ally and employer's part. I know that my decision has not been discussed with the file, but I also know that this decision will not change. And this will, after we returned to our room, was indeed conveyed to the file.

"It seems that you have decided." The file did not produce negative emotions because my arbitrary decision may cause her team to fall into a bad situation. I thought she would complain at least a few words, but in fact, listening After my narration, the calm and calm expression on her face has not changed.

"Yes, although they will continue to cooperate with Jung, they are not dominated by their will." I said, "I know what is hidden in this fifty-one area."

"So, we should get it instead of giving it to any other party." The file nodded, seemingly suggesting something to me: "I haven't received any notice from the headquarters so far. "

"Isn't Father Sisen?" I said, "It's impossible for him to have any contact with your headquarters in such a big matter ..."

The file interrupted my words, staring at me brightly, saying one by one: "Here, no one but my team comes from my organization."

"So?" I already knew what she meant, but it was still necessary to confirm verbally.

"So?" The file smiled slightly and licked the corner of her mouth. A merciless and sturdy breath of mercenaries came, "So, our cooperation is still in the honeymoon period, you whisperers are still the employers of our squad, and my team has never taken advantage of the loopholes. Not now, nor in the future. "

"Even if my employer's decision will be to your squad. Even your organization poses an unpredictable danger?" I asked.

"No, it's not dangerous, it's just a crisis." The file pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and sprayed a smoke at me. "During the cooperation, we are one. If your decision hurts my team, it will certainly hurt. To you. And I think. Gao Chuan, you are not a fool, nor a foolish man. So. This is not a decision of self-sufficiency, but a decision of a sense of crisis. It is only with the whisperer you are here. It is truly an organization worth our alliance. The intention and sincerity of cooperation has not changed from beginning to end. "The file said heavily to me:" Your sincerity has been conveyed to us through your behavior. Then, Please also believe in our determination and sincerity. "

The tone of the file is so solemn and contains a lot of emotion. Even the brain hardware made conclusions about her words and deeds. There is no certainty, but I still believe in her. This trust does not come from the memory information of the last Gao Chuan, but only from my current judgment on the file itself, not from the credibility calculation probability of the brain hardware, but the operation result of the self-personality will.

Yes. It does not depend on the memory information of the last Gaochuan, nor on the quantitative calculation of brain hardware. This is a decision purely derived from the "self" personality, a kind of almost emotional decision. Although, the more specific emotions representing sensibility are still suppressed by the brain hardware. And this trust is also the first step I have taken as a self-identity and as Gaochuan in this world.

"Yes, I have received your determination and sincerity." I said to her with the same solemn tone: "So, let everyone be ready. We will soon have a fierce battle."

"Do you already know where that thing is hidden?" The file asked.

"Not yet, but I will soon know." I said.

"Will Jung be notified now? He is ready for everything?" The file asked again.

“Notify Jung, but, I do n’t think he ’s prepared for everything.” I tapped my temple and said to her, “I ’ll soon know where that thing is hiding, but, it belongs to Our own intelligence, because, from beginning to end, we are not going to be supporting actors, are we? Even if it is cooperation, it is only because our actions can complement each other at a certain stage. "

"Oh--" The file lengthened its voice, and said with great interest: "Sure enough, as I thought, you seem to be quite sure?"

"No, I'm not sure, I just have to do it." I looked at her impartially.

"I'm curious, how exactly that thing exists, and it's worth so many people going crazy." The file nodded and said, "Almost every organization with decisive power has joined, which is amazing, and the headquarters is not I know any ideas. "

"I do n’t know the specific situation. How did other people plan to use it? I have n’t heard a bit of wind. However, what I can tell you is that this thing is likely to be related to the" Night of Valpus " The secret. "I once mentioned the Valpus Night that appeared in Las Vegas City with the file, but without having personally experienced it, it was difficult for her to hedge space against that scary and bizarre active temporary data. Produce intuitive cognition. The only thing that can impress her is probably this sentence: "Its power may directly interfere with the" rationality "of this world."

"Li?" The file frowned, but soon realized what this "Li" meant, and gradually opened his mouth, "You mean, it can change the rules of the world at will? For example, let gravity become bottom up?"

"At least, it can be used to build a live temporary data hedge space ~ lightnovelpub.net ~ and in this temporary data hedge space, it can make gravity turn from bottom to top, make time turn into cycle, and let death Disappeared, leaving the concept with no original meaning. "I said:" This is not the 51st district operating on the temporary data hedging space where it is located, dividing up a ground laboratory, maintaining a space corridor in the base. The interference power of fur. Although Area 51 keeps this thing, it is clear that they have not been able to make good use of it. Even so, they still built up their own temporary data hedge space. "

"In other words, as long as you make good use of this thing, you can become a **** and create the world you want?" The file still said with an incredible tone: "No matter how bad it is, can you get a free base?"

"Yes, I think, this should be the reason why those big organizations are working hard for it." I said Shen Sheng, "Although it is unlikely to interfere with the whole world's" reason ", but if only to build a semi-permanent mysterious organization The base, a holy place that belongs to you alone, is more than enough. "(To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point (.) To vote for recommendation and monthly tickets. Your support is my biggest motivation. )

ps: There are new functions in the starting point, "Like". Oops

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