It shouldn't be like this, it can't be like this. not like this.

He was struggling, he was struggling with all his strength, like a frantic lunatic, but no matter how struggling, his limbs could not feel any strength, even the tingling sensation of the rope rubbing against his wrists and ankles has completely disappeared, as if ...It seems that he has become a high paraplegia again.

Below the neck, I can't feel any sensations. Even the daily excretion of metabolism can only be completed with the help of other people. That kind of shame, that kind of powerlessness, even if you lie on the bed for ten years, it is still deeply imprinted in your mind, and it will never be impossible. Habits will never be obliterated.

No, no no, he doesn't want it, and he doesn't want it either. If this is the case, he would rather end his life in this way. Only after truly experiencing freedom can he understand that "stealth" is the scariest and most terrifying thing in the world. he does not want.

Suddenly, a **** smell spread in the mouth. The strong **** smell made the voice ambiguous, "No, no, no, no", all the words have disappeared, only one is left. The simple syllables can't tell whether they are denying or rejecting.

He still refused to give up, refused to compromise, and struggled frantically. However, all the efforts seemed to be in vain. Standing on the other side of the ring is destiny, the universe, and the whole world. It only takes one finger to completely defeat him. His insignificance, so insignificant, even lighter and weaker than a dust.

The natural universe is so big, but his world is so small.

"Jia Shu, Jia Shu!" A shout rushed from far and near, and then his hands fixed his constantly shaking head, shouting from close at hand, "Jia Shu, calm down, cold... ...Quiet..." But as he said, his voice choked up, the words quietly disappeared between his lips and teeth, and he stumbled and said, "At least, at least you are still alive. At least..."

In those familiar eyes, he saw his own reflection, the former Chu Jiashu, black hair, yellow skin, dark eyes, slightly thin, with sparse eyebrows, but at this moment, his lips are stained. With a touch of blush, the blood between the lips and teeth stained the lips, but the paleness of the face became more and more reflected, like a cuckoo weeping blood, and it fell on the white silk.

No, he is no longer Chu Jiashu. He is now Lan Li-Hall. He has left the hospital bed now. He has successfully pursued his dream. He has truly become himself. It shouldn’t be like this. He is trapped in Chu Jiashu’s body again. In, but... but he is Renly Hall. No, it's not right, it's impossible.

"No! No! Impossible, it's impossible. No!" He screamed frantically, struggling constantly, and the whole world fell apart. Even facing the universe, the powerful force was enough to shake, but... immediately He realized that all the mountains and tsunamis just happened in his mind, it was just his soul fighting.

In fact, real life is calm.

In the projection of Ding Yanan's eyes, he saw the pain, he saw the suffering, he saw the struggle, and he also saw... his motionless self. All his struggles, all the confrontations, all the indomitability, all the anger, everything is just the thoughts in his mind, his body has no response, no reaction at all.

It's so cruel, and it hits it fiercely.

So, is "Len Li-Hall" just a dream? So everything is just a beautiful dream for him? Now that the dream woke up, he returned to reality again, returned to this immobile body, returned to the fate that could not be resisted no matter how hard he tried.

The dream is so beautiful, the reality is so cruel.

Easily, all the psychological defenses were completely defeated, and he was caught off guard. He didn't even have time to make a defensive posture, and the whole person began to fall apart.

He closed his eyes tightly, and the hot tears slid down violently. He gritted his teeth tightly to prevent his despair and fragility from leaking out, but the steady stream of tears has burned his cheeks, the helplessness and dazedness firmly bound his body, and just like this Falling slowly and endlessly.

"Jiashu, don’t do this. Everything will be fine, Jiashu, don’t give up easily." Ding Yanan’s voice was full of pain, standing next to him, but helpless, she wiped off the tears on her son’s cheek, but instantly It was wet again, and the hot temperature made Ding Yanan withdraw his right hand, and firmly covered his mouth to prevent him from crying.

Why is this happening?

What exactly is a dream? Is Renly a dream, or is "gravity" a dream? Was the life of the past 23 years a dream, or the thirty-two years lying on a hospital bed a dream? Is he Lan Li or Chu Jiashu? Is he still an actor?

Opening his eyes again, the universe disappeared and the earth disappeared. He could only see a piece of white in the ward, and the voices of family members and patients on other beds came from his ears. It was familiar Chinese. Everything is so real that there is no way to refute it.

Those movies, those dramas, those friends, those lives...all the memories gradually began to blur, getting farther and farther, and almost disappearing. About London, about New York, about the actors, everything is just his dream. He is still Chu Jiashu, and he is still the patient trapped in the hospital bed.

Those freedoms, those dreams, those memories...and the sound of the wind sliding over the ears on the skateboard; stepping on the surfboard and covering the huge waves above your head; climbing on the cliffs and whizzing past The violent wind and the clear blue sky...All that is all is just a dream of nothingness.

In real life, he is still trapped in this space, unable to take care of his basic life.

So, what else can he do?

He couldn't do anything but waited quietly for death.

From reality to heaven, and then from heaven to hell, the huge ups and downs of the gap overwhelmed the camel's tall body unexpectedly, and all the willpower was shattered. This time, he didn't want to fight anymore. He gave up.

He opened his teeth and bit his tongue. As long as the tongue was cut off, the surging blood would immediately block his throat. Even if he did not bleed to death, he would be suffocated to death. This is the best ending. Without hesitation, resolutely, he bit down.

"Jiashu! Jiashu! Don't scare me, Jiashu!" Ding Yanan kept shaking his hands, and stuck his son's chin firmly, and then stuffed his fingers in, preventing the closing of his teeth at the very moment of his death. Ding Yanan almost fainted with the pain that was as turbulent as the tide, but she still clenched her teeth and refused to let go, "Doctor, doctor."

While crying, tears slipped down like this, "Help, who can come and help, save my son, doctor, doctor! Please, please." Ding Yanan's voice has completely collapsed, and she shouted tremblingly. , That helpless despair, like a black hole, completely involved all the vitality in it, and disappeared.

Then, the doctors and nurses rushed over. They grabbed his chin and freed Ding Yanan; they put on braces for him and prevented his continued attempts; they deprived him of his last right, and now he even committed suicide. It may be gone, just like a walking dead, continue to lie here.

No more, everything is gone.

Now, the only thing he can do is to widen his eyes and express his emotions with his eyes. Even the movements of shaking his head and opening his mouth have been firmly fixed, except for the eyes, all other parts can't move. This is the real helplessness, just like the helplessness hanging in the air, unable to reach the sky or the ground, and even resistance cannot find a point of leverage.

"I hate you." He looked at Ding Yanan, and saw the **** right hand out of his vision. He couldn't help closing his eyes, concealing his pain and struggle, and he couldn't bear it, and he said cruelly and resolutely. The words of the heart.

But even these words became vague due to the relationship between the braces, and the saliva continued to flow out, just like a patient who had lost his mind. The last trace of dignity, his last trace of dignity has been deprived, which is more cruel than a naked body, and the sense of shame can be felt from the depths of the soul.

"I hate you." He said again, his vague words were completely wet with tears, his chin was covered with saliva, his despair, his helplessness, his pain, and his anger, all All of them were torn to pieces.

"Jiashu, don't be like this."

"I hate you! You are too selfish, you are not for me, you are for yourself~lightnovelpub.net~ If you are really good for me, let me go, I don’t want to be stuck here, I don’t want I was tied here, and then I also tied you here. I don't want to, I don't want to! My life, your life, all tied to this hospital bed, there is nothing.

Don't you know how vast the outside world is? Don’t you know that our world is more than just this **** hospital bed? I don't want to stay here, I don't want to tie you here, let me go, when a car accident happens, I should die, I should die there! Why save me, why? "

He was talking, even if he was vague, he still said persistently, thirty-two years of Chu Jiashu's life, twenty-three years of Lanli's life, all the ups and downs, all the surging emotions, all in an instant. It broke out, even if he couldn't say a word clearly, he didn't give up, just said firmly.

However, those words fell in Ding Yanan’s ears, but only a babble of syllables remained. It seemed that Chu Jiashu’s soul and personality were dying out bit by bit. She was so helpless, she looked at the doctor. "He...he..." She tried to give some help, trying to return her respect to her son, but at a loss, she could only helplessly shook her head and kept her mouth open.

"Jiashu, don't say that, you are my son, how can I give up on you? I can't do it, I really can't."

Nightmares, hells, disasters, he seems to have returned to the dream that can never be woken up again, but what is a dream and what is reality?

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