When I was eight—

The door of the house opened.

"Good morning, Doctor Xie. Dad asked me to come and say hi to you. He wants me to chat with you more."

He pretended to be well-behaved, but he was also a little ignorant, so he stood at the door of the guest room engraved with endless summer patterns and bowed to the young medical student sitting at the desk .

The doctor turned around and looked at him lightly: "Come in and sit."

And then, at ten—

He ran down the long corridor with a special test sheet in his hand.

"Dr. Xie, Doctor Xie."

The door opened again, pushed open by the boy.

Xie Qingcheng stood by the window lattice, reading a book of "Ode to a Nightingale", the boy's commotion made him frown, and in the shadow of the sky, Xie Qingcheng said to him: "Come in. I knocked on the door before the house, how many times did I tell you?"

"My indicators are almost normal this time! I'm getting better!" He couldn't help but be excited, with fine sweat running out of his face, "Look, doctor, look."

"If you get so emotional, it's time to get worse."

Xie Qingcheng closed the collection of poems with a dull expression on his face, but he still beckoned to him at will: "Come in. Show me."

And then, at the age of fourteen—

It was gloomy outside, he stood in front of the heavy door for a long time, and then he knocked on the door.

The door of the house opened again.

The young man found at a glance that the room had become very cold, and Xie Qingcheng's luggage had already been packed.

The answer is everything.

But he was still like a dying patient who wanted to live, so he asked him unwillingly: "Is what my mother said true?"

“…”

Empty wardrobes, clean desktops, suitcases in the corners, all the still lifes answered him silently.

But he only looked at Xie Qingcheng, stubborn, strong, full of self-esteem, but humbled and asked again: "Is everything she said true?"

Xie Qingcheng put an ironed coat on his hand, he sighed and said, "You come in first. Come in and talk."

Finally, at the age of fourteen—

Soon after Xie Qingcheng left, He Yu was also going abroad. Before leaving, he came to the door of the closed guest room alone. The boy's hair was a little messy at the time, and it covered his eyes finely.

He stood silently with his head down for a long time, and finally he raised his hand and knocked on Xie Qingcheng's door.

Over and over again.

The door opened with a creak.

He Yu's heart lifted, and he looked in expectantly, but there was nothing inside - it was the wind that opened the door.

The room was very dark, and it looked like an empty tomb, like a cool dream.

When he walked in, the only thing that could prove that Xie Qing had presented it was the book about rare diseases in the world that he finally left to He Yu. The book was placed on the table by the window , He opened it blankly, and the title page had Xie Qing's light blue pen handwriting, and his bones were straight, and he could see the tall and straight man through the words.

Congratulations to:

Little devil, one day, you will come out of your inner shadow by yourself.

I hope, I can believe it.

Xie Qingcheng

Gift

However, He Yu never admitted that in many subsequent dreams, on the banks of the Thames, on the sandy beaches of Sicily, in the cold and foggy Danish polar night, and in the splendid and warm Spanish summer.

He dreamed of returning to the old villa in Shanghai from his pillow, dreaming of the long corridor with thick carpets.

Dream of the wooden door carved with endless summer dark patterns.

Then he dreamed that he was knocking on the door, again and again, helpless and desperate-until the clock struck twelve, and in the dream he used to save himself, he I dreamed that the heavy door was opened again from the inside.

Xie Qingcheng stood in the guest room, looking indifferent like He Yu needed him any time when he was a child, but he was so reliable, like the best big brother in the world, the strongest man, the most The inseparable and inseparable doctor—

The man looked down at him as if nothing had happened in between.

Just slightly tilted her head, and said, "It's you, little devil."

"Then, come in and sit."

—

"Come in and sit."

"Little devil..."

But everything has changed recently. Recently, even in a late night dream, when He Yu opened the door, there was no one in the door.

He will never go back to the hallway before the age of fourteen and open the door full of light.

My heart hurts so badly...

So, He Yu woke up abruptly—

When he woke up, he found himself lying on the bed in the bedroom.

Gauze was wrapped around her forehead, wrists and ankles.

The curtains were drawn in the bedroom, and the AI ​​speaker was playing the news one by one.

"The Shanghai University video serial murder case that shocked the whole country... The police revealed... This is a revenge murder, the police found evidence of her purchase of hacking equipment in Lu Yuzhu's belongings, Lu Yuzhu is the crime in this case One of the suspects, she used to be the secretary of the county party committee of Qingli County, was the first local girl to be admitted to a university. Lu Yuzhu’s major was computer information security, and the police suspected…”

Because the bluetooth signal is weak, the sound is intermittent.

"Another suspect, Jiang Liping, is currently at large... Both of them have an improper relationship with the victim... Maybe... Cheng Kang is mentally ill... The two of them were inspired by Jiang Lanpei's murder. Create a terrifying atmosphere similar to the rumored 'Jiang Lan Pei Li Gui's life'... but it does not rule out that the two know that the Jiang Lan Pei incident has a deeper connection with it..."

The speaker tells about Jiang Liping's escape.

He Yu lay on the bed, his heartbeat slowly calmed down.

The door in the dream disappeared.

He remembered that he accidentally fell downstairs.

He didn't move. Nothing happens.

He's still alive... He didn't feel too surprised. He was so numb, listening without a word. There are many follow-up reports on this matter. The strange murder case is the traffic password, and there are endless rumors about it.

He Yu was quite concerned about this matter before, but at this moment he woke up from a coma and heard this on the radio, he only felt numbly—

What does it have to do with him.

Everything in this world has nothing to do with him.

Suddenly, a voice came from the bedside: "He Yu, are you awake?"

He Yu moved his head, only now did he realize that Lu Zhishu was actually there.

She came back and was sitting worriedly beside his hospital bed. Seeing him open her eyes, she hurriedly said, "Before you—"

After a few seconds of silence.

He Yu opened his mouth, his voice hoarse when he first woke up: "I know what happened before."

When he said this, he responded with a certain look of surprise at her existence, and then said blankly: "I told you to leave me alone, why are you always staying in Huzhou? ?"

Lu Zhishu did not get the warm situation she expected after the mother and son met, and He Yu was not grateful for her bed.

She didn't expect his tone to be like this when he woke up, and she couldn't help but froze: "Why do you, your child talk to your mother like this?"

"Then how do you want me to talk to you? One word of honor? I'm not in the mood right now. I'm sick, do you know? I can't stand it anymore? I can't stand it and go back to Yanzhou to find He Li, don't shake it in front of my eyes every day."

Lu Zhishu was suddenly very angry, she was wearing a black lace see-through dress today, but she was too plump, and she was trembling with anger by He Yu, she looked like a trembling fat spider: "...Mom knows that it was Mom who left you out in the past, but you're not...you're not..."

"I hope you continue to treat me in the cold." He Yu's eyes were cold, "I'm used to it, do you understand?"

“…”

"Please go out."

Lu Zhishu wanted to say something, but He Yu's eyes had become a little terrifying.

"Get out."

She staggered and walked out.

He Jiwei also came back. When Lu Zhishu went downstairs, he met him in the living room.

He Jiwei did not expect that as soon as he entered the door, he was greeted by a wife who was so angry that her son cried.

Lu Zhishu has not been so weak in front of him for a long time.

She walked downstairs, sat down on the sofa, pulled a few tissues, wiped her tears, and turned her head without looking at He Jiwei.

He Jiwei: "...Did you quarrel with him?"

"He just woke up. I want to have a good talk with him, I want to find him another personal doctor, I have seen him take too much medicine recently, and you know this medicine lasts If it fails, there is no chemical way to control his mental state." Lu Zhishu took a breath, but still didn't turn his head, staring at the corner of the coffee table, as if that corner had some deep hatred with her.

"I am also kind, and I also care about him. I am his mother, can I harm him?"

He Jiwei: “…”

"But he just doesn't listen. He's too hostile to me." Lu Zhishu took a few more tissues and twitched her nose loudly. She wasn't like this when she was young.

"Lao He, help me persuade him."

Lu Zhishu burst into tears again.

"I'm really wronged... You said, you said I paid so much for him, he didn't know, I became what I am now because of him... He treated me to me How uncomfortable is it in my heart? I am really aggrieved."

She said, burying her face in her stubby, fat palms.

"I'm a mother too..."

The family relationship of the He family is actually very delicate, twisted, and eccentric. It's not the atmosphere that a normal family should have at all.

He Jiwei read Lu Zhi's book for a while, and said with a sullen face, "I'll go up and talk to him."

He Jiwei went upstairs and came to He Yu's bedroom.

The father and son rarely see each other, the black-haired man is sick in bed again, and the next second will probably be the scene of his father tearing up and choked with self-blame. However-

"Pop!"

A loud slap slapped He Yu's face. He Jiwei was different from Lu Zhishu. He was usually serious and reasonable, but at this moment he couldn't hold back, so he scolded him sharply when he went up: "He Yu, have you learned to seek death?"

He Yu was stained with blood and smiled: "My God, why are you back. I'm not at the point where I need you two to attend my funeral together."

"What nonsense are you talking about!"

"What are you doing back."

“…”

He Yu's eyes fell on He Jiwei's leather shoes. When the boy's indistinguishable smile widened, he saw that He Jiwei undoubtedly took a step back.

He moved his hands and feet slightly, and his eyes moved to the ceiling again.

Still smiling lightly: "Don't be afraid. Haven't I already been **** by you guys."

Although He Yu has never brutally harmed other people or animals in public, almost all doctors' ratings of violence against him have reached an index similar to that of a perverted murderer.

He Jiwei's cheeks stirred, and after a while he said, "This is for your own good."

He Yu moved freely in the restraint belt and smiled: "Thank you."

He Jiwei: "...When did the condition worsen so badly, don't tell me?"

"I seem to be insane," He Yu casually, "what do you expect me to say?"

"He Yu, if it goes on like this, you may have to be sent to the hospital for compulsory isolation." He Jiwei lowered his voice, his eyes were a little complicated, "Do you want to lose your freedom? Locked up like an animal Your mother and I have been hiding it for you for so long, just so you can be as normal as possible—"

"It is to allow the He family to operate as normally as possible, and to prosper for a long time." He Yu looked at the ceiling and smiled lightly.

He Jiwei fell silent as if his vocal cords had been cut.

" It's not that one day it becomes the talk of others after dinner, what to say, the eldest son of the He family, who looks bright and good in character and study, turns out to be a lunatic. It's really hidden. It turns out that the He family It's so rotten - you still do medicine, you can't cure your own disease."

He turned his head, his hands and feet were tied, but he smiled Yan Yan, with a terrifying temperament: "Am I right? Dad?"

He Jiwei's face was pale and angry, but there seemed to be a trace of guilt for He Yu in the anger.

He Yu can't see, his eyes are empty.

"You found me sick after you gave birth to me, just strangle me to death. What are you keeping me for?

"He Yu..."

"Go away, I'm not used to having you here, I'm even more crazy, I can't hide it in the future, I'm afraid I will lose all your face."

He Jiwei seems to want to say a few soft words, but the number of times he meets his eldest son is really pitiful, and he has a high position and is used to giving orders, softness is far more difficult for him than hardness .

“…”

He Yu turned his face on the bed, not wanting to look at his father.

The house was eerily silent.

In the process of silence, He Jiwei's eyes slowly changed from anger to guilt, from guilt to grief, and from grief to calmness.

He began to regret the slap he gave He Yu as soon as he entered the door.

At that moment, he really couldn't control it.

He knew that He Yu had fallen from the building - although the floor was not high.

He saw Lu Zhishu being so embarrassed by He Yu.

Although he didn't accompany He Yu very much, he did not call He Yu. This was the first time.

No matter how indifferent he was to He Yu, they were both father and son. He didn't say anything when he saw that He Yu was so crazy, and said no, it was fake.

He couldn't take it anymore.

Pulled up a chair and sat down beside He Yu's bed.

Father lowered his head and said nothing, as if he didn’t want to tell him anything, just checked He Yu’s injury, and then—

"Click."

Slight noise.

He Jiwei untied his restraint.

"..." He Yu opened his eyes.

After He Jiwei loosened his belt, he didn't speak for a long time.

The father and son looked at each other, silently.

He Jiwei hadn't set foot in this bedroom for a long time. In this silence, he turned his eyes away, looked around, and finally settled on He Yu's empty bedside.

He decided to speak, his tone was very tired, but not so severe, so inhuman: "...He Yu. I remember, there used to be a photo of the three of us on your bedside table. ."

"That's still a photo of you when you were four years old. We took it together in Yellowstone Park..."

He Yu also opened his mouth, his tone was still cold, but he replied, "I've lost that photo for ten years."

“…”

It is a villa room with such exquisite decoration, but at this moment it is as cold as an ice cellar.

He Jiwei sighed and wanted to knock out a cigarette.

He Yu said: "I don't like second-hand smoke. If you want to smoke, go out and smoke."

"..." He Jiwei coughed and took back the cigarette embarrassingly, "I'm not too addicted to smoking. I don't smoke anymore. What happened just now... It's my fault, I'm excited."

"He Yu, I'll stay here with you for a while."

If this sentence were changed ten years ago, He Yu would have softened his heart.

Fifteen years ago, He Yu would even cry.

But now, after all, it is too late. He Yu's heart had grown a thick cocoon. This meager tenderness would only make him feel that his heart was disturbed, but he could not perceive any clear emotions.

He Jiwei was quiet for a while, and then said: "I know, you have resented us all these years, since your brother came into this world, we really accompany you too little, I don't want more What to justify, if you don't do it well, you don't do it well, and our neglect of you is a fact that can't be shied away."

Father played with the unlit cigarette and whispered.

"That's not neglect." He Yu said lightly, "It seems more appropriate to say that it is disgust."

He Jiwei's hand trembled.

He also found that He Yu seemed to have become more ruthless.

He Yu would not speak to him so frankly before, even if he was dissatisfied, verbal courtesy and politeness were always there.

He Jiwei stared at the thick woolen carpet in the bedroom, and said for a while, "...He Yu, she doesn't hate you."

"She just hates her own past."

“…”

The room was quiet, and the ticking of the clock could be heard.

Time passed by minute by minute, He Jiwei rubbed the cigarette between his fingers, he was struggling with himself - or he had already decided to have such a dialogue with He Yu , but he is sitting in this strange room at the moment, and he doesn't know where to start.

He was silent, considering.

In the end, he sighed deeply and said, "He Yu, there are some things that we have never told you before. Because you are still too young, you haven't even told you at that time. As an adult, I worry that after I say it, you will feel more uncomfortable psychologically. And your mother, it is a very painful scar for her. It is even more impossible for her to open it herself and lead you to touch it. "

"But I think—I feel more and more recently that it's time to tell you." He Jiwei said, "Maybe after you listen, you can be less self-sabotaging, and you can...you may It's okay to understand her a little bit."

"I understand enough—" He Yu sat up abruptly from the bed.

"You listen to me." He Jiwei said, "I rarely talk to you alone. This time, please listen to me patiently, and then, if you have any dissatisfaction , you can vent any resentment you have with me. Is that okay?"

“…”

"You're my son, and I know I've always made you sacrifice too much for something."

After a long silence, He Yu finally lay back between the pillows and mattresses, raised his hand and covered his eyes with his arm, as if not seeing He Jiwei would make him a little more rational.

"You say it." Finally he said coldly, "I'm listening."