After He Jiwei calmed down, the first sentence he said was with a sigh: "If only the photo by your bed was still there."

"I don't know how much you remember that picture, it's one of the few pictures of your mother when she was young. When you were four years old, she was still a little girlish. It doesn't look like it is now..."

"She doesn't like to see herself as she was before marriage. Almost all the old photos of our family have been cleaned up by her. But you can vaguely know from that group photo that she is in her twenties. She was very beautiful when she was old - although she was a little out of shape in that group photo, the handsome outline between her eyebrows is still there."

When He Jiwei said this, his eyes unconsciously showed some affection, but that affection came from the past, and was sent to the lover of cardamom years, just like old photos, already Slightly yellowed.

He closed his eyes for a moment, sighed, opened his eyes again, looked at the carpet, and continued to speak in a low voice.

"I don't know, have you ever thought about why your mother became what she is now. Business entertainment, business dealings - these are very consuming, and will make many people change from graceful to beautiful It's fat. But it's not absolute, at least you see, I haven't gotten too much over the years."

"The first time I saw her, she was wearing a long red dress, smiling innocently, it was really beautiful, her almond eyes were clear and bright, just like yours. She is also very kind, not so competitive. Her favorite things are raising cats and dogs, growing flowers and vegetables, and reading books. At that time, whoever saw her would like her from the bottom of their hearts. And now..." He Jiwei sighed even more seriously, raised his hands, clasped them together, and touched his forehead with his fingertips, "It's really completely different."

"There were many people chasing her at that time, but she finally chose me. Not long after we got married, she had you."

“…”

"But it didn't last long."

"Our main business is biopharmaceuticals, as you know. Your mother was afraid of my hard work at that time. She would help me when I went to the laboratory and stared at the equipment. But I never knew What went wrong... Which link went wrong? When your mother was pregnant with you, she was exposed to the virus leaked from the laboratory. Obviously every check is very strict, and there has never been a single mistake for so many years. "

Even if He Jiwei was talking about this matter with his eyes closed, he could see his pain through his frowning eyebrows.

"She was several months pregnant at the time, and our family's personal doctor said she had to undergo treatment, and that treatment would definitely lead to the death of the fetus, and they asked her to do it in advance Induction of labor. She refuses - her constitution is not very good, the doctor said before pregnancy that it is difficult for her to conceive a second child, so she cherishes your presence, she thinks that she will not have a second child again And for those few months, she was looking forward to your birth with infinite anticipation every day, talking to you more than to me - they wanted you to leave her body, they wanted to sentence you to death, she I won't."

When your fetal heart has not yet differentiated, she has loved you deeply, she said that you are the best gift given to her by God, and she named you early and called you He Yu."

"We persuaded her for a long time, including me, I'm sorry." He Jiwei said, "I admit that at that time I loved her more than you, I didn't want her to have any accidents, and I kept on I beg her to induce labor, have no children in the future, or adopt a child. I don't want to lose her."

"But she never let go. She looks like a good talker, but once she makes up her mind, ten cows can't pull it back. She always cried and said not to hurt He Yu. , she said you were afraid, she could feel that only she could protect you - she thought it was her fault, she was too negligent, that caused the infection accident."

The girl, woman, mother, wife, her hoarse cry seemed to be still in her ears—

"Don't kill him...I can feel him...that's my son..."

"Don't touch him... Can you please don't touch him... You can hurt me, no matter what, it's my fault, I hurt him, I want him to live... He's so young... Don't kill him, okay?"

He Jiwei has not recalled this memory so carefully for a long time, which was too painful for him.

He suppressed it for a while before he could narrate the past as calmly as possible.

She will lose her enthusiasm for living along with her. Every mother is different, she is the kind of woman with a strong maternal nature, she cannot accept your death because of her mistakes." He Jiwei said, " What's more, she may never be a mother again."

"She was in tears all day long, she lost shape, anxiety and fear made her mental state a little abnormal, not to mention that after she contracted the virus, all organs began to start Recession. She ran away from the house a few times... She thinks we're going to kill you while she's asleep, and she wants to be nine months into labor when no one can stop her."

He Jiwei sighed again: "There's really no way... If it goes on like this, she will torture herself to death. So after finding her for the last time, I went to find a The researcher in the lab. I asked him if there was any way to fix the damage that virus caused her, while trying to protect you as much as possible, so that you can survive the last month. - They finally gave me a drug ."

"RN13."

"This is a laboratory-made cell regeneration drug that perfectly repairs damaged cells."

He Yu was angry and felt that he was perfunctory: "How can there be anything in the world that can completely repair cells!"

"Yes. He Yu, calm down. Yes." He Jiwei said, "But you are right, the cell repair of RN-13 is not complete, and it is still very early research. There is still a long way to go. But judging from the data of the first emperor later..."

He Yu said fiercely, "What is the first emperor data?"

"You've seen "Resident Evil", remember the Red Queen in it?"

"The first emperor, like the redqueen, is not a real person. Because no one can withstand the full treatment of RN-13 without being tortured to death. It is a simulated data, symbolizing a Humans who have undergone cell regeneration. The so-called data of the first emperor is calculated based on this, and the self-healing ability of human beings against various diseases in this situation.”

"I can't explain too much to you, but RN-13 was our greatest hope at the time. So although it is very dangerous, it has not been tested on humans, and it is completely prohibited. Medicine, we still use it. It's the only possible solution to the worst of all possibilities."

"...I admit that I was sloppy at that time." He Jiwei said, "But I can't help it. Anxiety during pregnancy, paranoia, depression... Combined, her mental state is completely chaotic Yes, rather than watch her torture herself to death...then I'd rather take a gamble."

The curtains fluttered gently, as if sighing at what happened yesterday.

"It turned out that RN13 did defeat the virus in her body, regenerating her damaged cells at an astonishing rate. She calmed down and gave birth to you."

"But RN13 is destined to be an immature drug, its ambition is too great, the proposition of cell regeneration is the ultimate challenge to human diseases, with current medical technology, it is simply impossible Realization, Chuhuang is just a perfect idea. This medicine does have a strong repairing effect, and even the failing organs can be reversed, so that the patient can be saved. But its side effects are also revealed in you and your mother. "

"Although the pharmacists at the time gave you very small doses and careful usage, it all happened inevitably."

"Your mother's hormone secretion began to become abnormal, and her appearance began to become...not so good-looking." He Jiwei seems to have a hard time using the word ugly on his wife to this day, although This is a fact that everyone can see.

But he couldn't say it.

That was his wife, the girl who had chosen him among many admirers, and he could still remember her most beautiful.

He Jiwei said with difficulty: "Your figure has begun to lose shape... When you were four years old, you barely had a shadow of the past, not like it is now."

Anyone who looks at it looks like a greedy and fat spider.

Beauty loses her gorgeous face when she is young, it is actually a very cruel and painful thing.

Lu Zhishu didn't notice it at first, but slowly, she felt it - it was a kind of "organ failure" in social status.

A beautiful face can bring infinite kindness and convenience to people.

She was accustomed to receiving those envious, admiring and admiring glances since she was a child.

People are always kind to her, she doesn't know what the world is like for another woman.

She was still immersed in the joy of being a mother at first, ignoring herself gradually looking like a melting ice cream in the mirror. But then...

"Sorry, this seat is occupied."

"No, no accommodation."

"Auntie, this dress is too small for you, how about I get you another one that suits you better?"

Walking in the society, everything suddenly became so unfamiliar. No one is eager to please her anymore, men will not be flattered and blushed because they talk to her, she is called aunt, and beautiful girls are mocking her obese body and sagging body behind their backs.

She was in a panic, like a cat whose whiskers were cut off, she didn't even know how to walk.

What's even more sad is the shocked look that every old acquaintance will show when they see her for the first time—whether they hide it or not, that look is too much It was so sharp that it made her bloody.

She became more and more depressed, lost her temper, smashed things...

One day He Jiwei came home and found that she had made a fire in the yard. The servants stood beside her at a loss, watching her put away the clothes and shoes she had when she was a girl, Photos...all burnt.

She smiled and turned back, some drooping cheeks trembled, shaking off some hideous pleasure.

—She has nothing to do with the past.

She came out of a cocoon, a mutant.

"Your mother has changed." He Jiwei said, "Slowly, it has become more and more powerful... Don't say it's you, even I sometimes don't recognize it is her. Come."

"She loves you, but she's too afraid to see her past in you - remind her of those days she'll never go back to. She's been trying to forget those things herself. "

"She no longer likes cats and dogs, she grows flowers, she even becomes absolutely independent from me, she does business and makes money by herself, when she gets that kind of social status When she was young and beautiful, she could vaguely recall from the respect of others, the gentle attitude everyone had towards her when she was young and beautiful."

He Jiwei's voice was somewhat sad: "He Yu, she is actually really pitiful."

"...Don't blame her too much. She can't face you properly. Even I feel extremely guilty. Most of the time, I'm taking care of her mind."

"She doesn't only like He Li, but He Li is more like her now. She doesn't have to think about the darkest and darkest past for her."

"Your illness... is also caused by RN13, and she has always felt guilty. Every time you get sick, it is also a kind of torture for her. Until now, she is still living in that pain, She falls asleep sometimes, and I can hear her talking..."

He Jiwei paused.

I don't know if it is because of the light in the room, his eyes seem to be a little wet.

He Yu listened numbly for a long time, and then asked softly: "...what did she say?"

He Jiwei lowered his head like a puppet whose thread was cut.

"She said it was her fault."

—

The woman muttered in her sleep:

"It was Mom's fault."

"It's your mother who didn't protect you."

“…”

He Jiwei's voice was a little hoarse, he cleared his throat, but it was still very dull: "...she finished speaking, she laughed again in her dream, like a madman...I think these Over the years she never really got out of that episode."

"Especially after she gave birth to He Li, she found out that she could still conceive a second child, I don't know if she had any regrets in her heart, but she did become stronger Now, many times even I can't communicate with her properly, and she no longer seems to be willing to trust anyone but herself."

"Your mother's inner thoughts, no one can fully know now. But He Yu, what I can be sure of is." He Jiwei turned his head and looked at the bed all the time, almost saying a word The boy who didn't listen to the whole content.

"...she used to love you with her life."

“…”

"Even if...even if she has changed beyond recognition now...I think in the deepest part of her heart, she should still have the same love for you as before."

It's not because of the light, He Jiwei's eyes are really red.

In so many years, it was the first time that he had completely peeled off that painful scar to a person.

"So, no matter what...I think...you should...have a little bit of kindness towards her...when she wants to care about you again, she is going to step on the tip of the past , came to you. He Yu, since she was the only one, she wanted you to survive even if she didn't want her life."

He Jiwei's voice became lower and hoarse: "Can you be nice to her..."

He Yu did not speak.

After a long time, He Jiwei seemed to see a drop of water dripping from under He Yu's arm that had been covering his face. I don't know if it was his illusion, the drop of water soon dripped into his temples , disappeared.

He Yu turned over, no longer lying on his back, but turned his back to him.

"You go out," he said softly, "I want to be alone for a while. Okay?"

·

RN13 is the drug that is responsible for psychiatric Ebola.

When He Jiwei used it, it belonged to a sudden illness, and the foreign pharmaceutical prescription he cooperated with was not so formal. It seems that they brought this medicine from a scientific research institution in the United States. It was impossible to tell him all the secrets. Therefore, He Jiwei does not fully understand the situation that RN13 may cause mental stimulation to the recipient.

By the time he knew that there had been some documented human subjects with similar diseases, it was too late.

Lu Zhishu is not ill, but her temperament has changed suddenly, her appearance is out of shape, and it is not much different from being mentally ill. He Yu was not so lucky. He became the No. 4 case of mental Ebola.

After He Jiwei found out that his son had this symptom, he confronted the foreign pharmaceutical company, but the internal changes of the pharmaceutical company changed the country, the original boss was brutally killed, and the new president Very little knowledge of this, and do not want to help.

Afterwards, He Jiwei no longer had any cooperation or contact with that foreign pharmaceutical company.

But the fait accompli cannot be changed.

He Yu lay on the bed for a long time, because the heavy curtains were drawn, it was difficult to distinguish between morning and evening, only the sound of the pendulum clock always echoed in this quiet bedroom.

Tick, tick.

I don't know how long it took before He Yu got up. He walked to the bookcase and took out an old photo from a dilapidated copy of "One Hundred Years of Solitude".

The photo is of the geyser in Yellowstone Park. It was the only photo taken by him and his parents on a three-person trip. In the photo, he was still very young and was held in his arms by the young He Jiwei. A woman of medium stature, with a faint trace of beauty, she was smiling, curly black hair fell over her shoulders, wearing a black lace dress and a fisherman hat, snuggling beside her husband.

He rubbed the face of the woman in the photo—

After a long time, He Yu slowly closed his eyes.

Next day.

When Lu Zhishu was preparing breakfast in the western kitchen, he saw He Yu go downstairs for the first time and came to the dining table.

He Jiwei still retains his old habits. Although it is no longer the era of paper media, he still likes to drink morning tea in the morning while reading a whole newspaper.

"Wake up so early?" He Jiwei raised his eyes from the newspaper.

When Lu Zhishu heard the movement, he turned around and saw that his son, whom he had been courting for so long, was willing to have breakfast with them today. He couldn't even hold the frying pan for a while, and almost fell to the ground.

Although He Yu's expression was still pale, she still felt that this was a great improvement.

"What does He Yu want? Coffee? Tea?"

He Yu said calmly, "It's fine, thank you."

After breakfast, Lu Zhishu was able to keenly receive the signal from He Yu - freezing three feet is not a day's cold, he can't get too close to them.

But at least he doesn't have the attitude of high defense.

He's trying to get in touch with them.

Lu Zhishu was inspired by this.

"He Yu..."

"Huh?"

Bar."

“…”

The new doctor...

He Yu somehow thought of Xie Qingcheng who came to his house for the first time with a bouquet of hydrangea that year.

He closed his eyes and was silent for a long time.

Finally, she tapped three words to exit: "It's all up to you."