On March 2, it will be sunny, cloudy, cloudy, or rainy.

I do not know.

Nothing can be determined.

What happened yesterday made my doubts about the authenticity of this world even stronger.

If, everyone I know is fake.

If, my memories of the past twenty years have been fabricated by something.

If, my cognition of this world is all whimsical and self-righteous fantasy.

So can the church really solve my problems?

Or will I fall into a deeper hell?

Or, in such a world, does the church really exist?

What I have encountered, experienced, and remembered, how real is it?

Yes, when I heard Shirley's words yesterday, I went back the same way and didn't follow the original plan to share my situation with the priests.

I returned home impatiently and verified Shirley's words.

Very simple, I pushed open the door and shouted to the empty home:

"Grandma! Are you there?"

"Grandma! I'm back!"

No one responded to me, not one.

I shouted again:

"Pobby! Silly dog, I'll take you out for a walk!"

The house was still eerily quiet.

I found one thing.

The world seems to be false, everything is.

Or, I am the false one, and everything is.

March 3, sunny, maybe.

Today I found even worse news, Shirley doesn't exist in the town.

Even if she is in my memory, her voice, face and smile are all in front of me, I am so impressed by her memory.

In that case, what about Auston? What about Karina?

Are they fake too?

In the deserted home, only the shining stone accompanies me.

March 5th, it's cloudy.

I can basically be sure that the world is fake.

This morning, an owl flew to the branches in the backyard of the house.

We looked at each other for a long time and it really looked like a cat, a cat with floppy fur.

With that in mind, when I turned my head again, the owl was gone, and only a cat was left on the tree.

I don't want to describe too much, nor is it necessary.

On March 7, the weather turned from sunny to rainy, and then to overcast.

It was like a dream, my dream, but a nightmare for sure.

Because even though I can try to control everything around me, all I feel is hesitation and pain.

When I try to get a moment of peace, the stone will beat, in front of my eyes, in my mind, all the time, the world and the soul are severing, and there is only noise in the sight and the unreachable. , The hustle and bustle of a person is really maddening and helpless.

When I write this sentence, the weather that was originally clear sky has really started to rain.

After the rain, it should be overcast in half an hour, right?

(Supplement) Sure enough, it turned overcast, and it was half an hour.

On March 8th, there will be no accidents in the future. It will be sunny. Sunny days are better than rainy days. I think so.

If the world is false, then where is the real world, or is there really a real world?

Since this is a dream, let the dream be a little happier, even if it is only a little bit, so that I have a moment to forget the reality and illusion of the world, and I can be content with it.

Karina, you know what, I'm actually by your side all the time while you sleep.

March 11, sunny.

I've been integrated into Karina's life, where she can't see, at any time, I'm everywhere.

Observing her in this way is like observing an incomprehensible sculpture.

I even tried to touch her when she was asleep, and it was exactly as I thought, in my dream, I didn't want her to wake up, she wouldn't wake up.

But I was not like a hungry wolf, eager to devour it.

Because Karina is the only existence in this false world that I can calm down, observe and love, even if she is false.

But several times, I was deeply immersed in the two-person world with her, and when I lay with her without knowing it, I forgot in a trance that there is such a stone that only I can see, always there. within my field of vision.

It seems that Karina only exists there quietly, covering up the light of everything else, so that my eyes can no longer accommodate others.

I know, this makes me get carried away, and even forget that the world is a false state and cannot always appear.

But as I said before, a moment is enough, she is the only one who can give me a moment of quiet existence in this false world.

Such Karina, how could I not love you.

How can I have the heart to break it, every night, the peace that only belongs to the two of us.

March 13, sunny.

Auston came to see me today.

The reason is that I disappeared for too long and didn't show up in town.

After seeing my haggard face, he was very worried and tried to take me to see a doctor, but I put it off.

But what should I say, my mood is very complicated right now, and I am here, trying to stop the madness in my heart.

We had some conflict because Auston saw part of my diary on the previous page.

It's all my fault. After I finished writing yesterday, I didn't cover the diary and just put it on the table.

Maybe it's because I already feel that I am omnipotent. I don't believe anyone else can, in my dream, break into my home, check my secrets, and then leave unharmed.

But unfortunately, Auston did it.

He did not come with malice, but with kindness, unlike those robbers who broke into private houses without permission.

He didn't see any more of the previous article, because I immediately stepped forward to cover up my secret after I noticed his gaze fell on the diary that was spread out.

But it was inevitable, and he saw it, the part of me describing my time with Karina.

Contrary to what I expected, I should have erased anyone who spied on this secret, but now I can easily do it.

Because even if this is in a dream, in a dream where the real world cannot be found, what is the difference between a dream and reality?

But I didn't do that.

why?

I do not know either.

Maybe it's because I personally told him many years ago that Big Brother will always protect you.

Even if this memory is definitely false, even Auston is a false person in the dream.

March 15th, sunny.

I have recalled many things in the past two days.

About my life~lightnovelpub.net~about me and Auston, me and Karina.

I recalled the day when Auston and Karina announced their union. Although I was heartbroken, I also had bitter blessings for him.

Later, because the world is false, I also cast aside a lot of scruples.

At this moment, I can't give up, I am the only thing in this world that can get a moment of peace.

Karina.

but.

What if, in this world, part of it is real?

What if Auston happens to be part of that real part?

In the end where is true, where is false, where is the place I should go, what is the thing I should do.

These thoughts, like a vortex leading directly to the underworld, wrapped me tightly, swallowed me deeply, couldn't extricate myself, and plunged me into an infinite frenzy.