Chapter 784 Chapter 783·【Save me once, okay? 】

   "..."

  Su Mingan clenched his sword tightly.

   All along, he didn't know Lin Guang very well. Even the audience thought that Lin Guang was just a paranoid villain.

But for Lin Guang, why did he become like this? Why did he become a walker in the 32nd year of the catastrophe? Where did he travel after losing the city of gods? , How to shoot at yourself with a pistol, how to bandage yourself in the middle of the night, no one knows.

  All his logical points are staggered and cannot be connected in a straight line. His words and deeds before and after seem to be going against the flow of time.

   Even if he regrets, he never regrets his cruelty, just regrets not stopping Luvis from loving humans. His ideals, his malice, and his harm to others, even he himself will not deny it, but admit it openly—

  Yes, I am such a villain.

I am such a person.

  I hate humans, their selfishness and fickleness make me sick. I feel close to you and I will protect you.

   is like a very straightforward one-way line, what is input, what will be output.

  The hall was very quiet, only the colorful flowers were still blooming. Lin Guang stood quietly for a while, and said, "Forget it."

never mind.

  Even Su Mingan didn't know what he was "forgetting".

   "If you could be more normal, you wouldn't be what you are today." Su Mingan said slowly, "Maybe it's the long-term emotional resonance that made you crazy. You shouldn't be connecting those hoses in the City of Gods."

  Lin Guang's vision was erratic, like a slowly rising smoke.

  For a moment, Su Mingan felt that Lin Guang met his gaze. They seemed to be looking at each other across a non-existent garden path, and the steam of the tea blurred their sight, turning the figure in the field of vision into a red and purple light and shadow.

  Indistinct, peeking at the moon. With you without me, with me without you.

"right."

   At the end, Lin Guang made a sound slowly.

   "I'm crazy."

   "I'm crazy...to put on this Hanfu today."

   He himself admitted that he was crazy.

  A sharp stabbing pain came from the heart.

   "Thinking seems to be free, but it is limited. Even if you diverge from reality, you will be trapped in experience, but is it a villain who just wants to control everyone? Or—"

  Lin Guang said:

   "The 'creator' is the villain?"

   "How far does a character have to go before they can be called having free will?"

   "Am I free? Luvis, are you free again?"

  Su Mingan's finger was on the trigger.

  Lin Guang still stood where he was, his eyes were like mist in the rain. The bright red blood light surrounded him, the world seemed to be upside down, and the resonance vibrated from all directions.

  Su Mingan has long been prepared to resist resonance. But when the resonance was added, he felt that the resonance was not painful, but that it made people feel strong contradictions and struggles, as if repeatedly trying to survive in the extremes of ice and fire.

  The intensity of emotion and the contradiction of thinking are unprecedented. Like a baby who has just come into contact with the world.

  …

  【We met for the first time, your name is now Lin Guang, right? ] He heard the voice of the gods.

  【Yes, don’t worry, I will follow the pre-plot. ] This is Lin Guang's voice.

  【Then wash your memory, it’s useless to keep it. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, I feel lost. What is the essence of life? ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【The wind can blow up a leaf, but it cannot blow up a butterfly. Because life has its power and its faith. 】The voice of the gods.

  【Am I a leaf, or a butterfly? 】Lin Guang said.

  【Of course you are a leaf. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, why do people always stare at me with hatred, am I doing something wrong? 】Lin Guang's voice: 【Whoever offends the gods should be punished. 】

  【Of course you are right. 】The voice of the gods is persuasive: 【This is for the stability of the world. The public needs a unified belief in order to save resources. 】

  【Humans really like to fight by themselves. 】Lin Guang said.

  【Human beings are like this. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, I saw a man in the garden villa in District 11 today. His black hair and gray eyes made me very familiar. I want to keep him and be friends with him. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【Whatever you want, this is your freedom. 】The god's voice was a little casual: 【What's his name? 】

  【Luvis. 】Lin Guang said.

  【…】The **** said:【No. 】

  【I want to be friends with him. 】Lin Guang said.

  【No, only he can’t. 】 Said the gods.

  【Didn't you say that I can get everything I want? 】Lin Guang said.

  【Change someone else. 】 Said the gods.

  【No, this is the only time I defy you. 】Lin Guang said.

  【This is your worst decision. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, he promised to take a walk with me today! ] Lin Guang's excited voice.

  【…】The **** has no voice.

  【A man named Qiu Li died, he seemed a little sad. So tonight I played the flute for him and sent him back to the beacon gathering place. He's different from everyone else, doesn't fear me, doesn't hate me, that's great. 】Lin Guang said: 【Since I can remember, I have never been so happy. He and I will definitely become good friends. 】

  【…】The **** has no voice.

  【God, god? 】Lin Guang said.

  【Don’t kill him by mistake. 】 Said the gods.

  【If he doesn't anger me, of course I won't kill him. 】Lin Guang said.

  【Didn't you realize that this is not an equal 'friendship'? 】 Said the gods.

  【What is friendship? 】 Lin Guang was at a loss.

  …

  【God, I am very angry today. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【I said, people like you don’t deserve friendship. 】The voice of the gods.

  【I just want to help him get rid of the obstacles around him! Those people have deficiency disease, which is contagious, but he doesn't believe me. I can only do it by force. ] Lin Guang's voice was very angry: 【But he was very angry, and even chased him to the City of Gods. I made an appointment with him to help him kill a guy named Edward. 】

  【Edward? Try to stay alive. 】 Said the gods.

【I do not. This is a promise between friends. 】Lin Guang said.

  【You have been getting out of control recently. 】The **** said:【Personal love and hatred are unbearable emotions for the savior, and they are shackles that cannot be shaken off. You will regret it sooner or later. 】

  【But he still thinks that only players are real, and I cannot be an equal person. Only players are human beings, and we are just tools—he never regarded me as a friend, and only flirted with me because I was useful. 】Lin Guang said: 【I still don't understand what is worth protecting from criminals. If you offend him, you should be killed, if you conceal your deficiency disease, you should be killed. But why did he save such an ugly human being? Why would anyone sympathize with the criminal and blame the victim? 】

  【Because this is human beings. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, I sneaked into District 11 today and made tea for him. ] Lin Guang's voice.

【Um. 】The god's voice doesn't sound like he cares.

  【But I soak it blood red, he doesn't like it. 】Lin Guang said.

  【Because you used black tea leaves. 】 Said the gods.

  【I tried bleaching with chlorine water, but it failed, and he doesn't seem to like drinking it either. 】Lin Guang said.

  【Who would like to drink chlorine water. 】 Said the gods.

  【I will improve it again, try using sulfuric acid next time...】 Lin Guang said.

  【Don't poison him to death. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, I found out today. His birthday is December 31st, and he usually likes to read psychology books and suspense stories. He can play tennis and piano. He likes mushroom soup, chocolate for snacks, and strawberries for fruit... He likes games. I don’t quite understand what games are. It seems to be an activity that people liked very much before the catastrophe of the century. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【He is indeed playing a very large game. 】The voice of the gods.

  【Then what am I to him? 】Lin Guang said.

  【The guardian demon king in the level. 】 Said the gods.

  【What is he? 】Lin Guang said.

  【The brave man who wants to defeat the devil. 】 Said the gods.

  【Can the devil and the brave be good friends? 】Lin Guang said.

  【According to the orthodox game, it is impossible. 】 Said the gods.

【OK. 】Lin Guang said: 【It's definitely possible. 】

  …

  【God, he established the Doomsday City today, and he will be the city lord in the future. People call him the city lord of Akto. ] Lin Guang's voice.

【Um. 】The voice of the gods.

  【I hate... this name. Or Luvis is nice. 】Lin Guang said: 【When people call him, I always feel that they are not calling him, but like calling another god. 】

【Um. 】 Said the gods.

  …

  【God, he died suddenly today. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【A few years later, he will appear again. 】The voice of the gods.

  【I will wait. 】Lin Guang said.

  【Why are you so obsessed with him? He has been wary of you. 】 Said the gods.

【But. 】Lin Guang said: 【He is the only one who is willing to take a walk with me... Every time I see him, my chest is as happy as fireworks. I don't understand what it feels like, I have never experienced it. I can't understand why the corner of the mouth is raised to laugh, and why there is water in the eyes to cry, but I have these reactions when I see him. My surroundings seem to be black and white, but he has colors. 】

  【…】The **** has no voice.

  …

  【God, today I told him, 'Lu Shu died a long time ago'. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【He must be sad. 】 Said the gods.

  【I regret saying that. 】Lin Guang said: 【God, when I said this, I was so sad, why? 】

  【Check for any wounds. 】 Said the gods.

  【Is it the cause of the wound? ] Lin Guang said:

【yes? 】

  …

  【God, I went to find him today. In the cave, I found him first. I am faster than Shan Tingting, faster than Red Hair, faster than Smiling Tiger, and faster than anyone else. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【He is indeed an interesting person. 】The voice of the gods.

  【The moonlight is beautiful today. ] Lin Guang said:

  【But he still didn't follow me. 】

  …

  【God, I dreamed about many things today... I, I dreamed about Actor and Ginkgo Tree. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【It’s just a dream. 】The voice of the gods.

  【I... broke his leg today. There is a saying that if a person makes the right choice at every point of time, he will achieve perfect happiness. Have I done many wrong things so far? I seem to have hurt him too many times, but I can't help it. 】Lin Guang said.

  【You are an incorrect existence, what more do you want? 】 Said the gods.

  【I want to leave the City of Gods, God. 】Lin Guang said: 【I want to... travel around, I want to know, why do I always do wrong things subconsciously? 】

  …

  【God, I have been to many places these years. I went around Doomsday City quietly and bought a lot of painting tools. I want to paint him one by one in the remaining decades. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  【…】The **** has no voice.

  【It seems like you haven't talked to me for a long time, is it because I'm useless? It's okay, I can talk to myself. 】Lin Guang said.

  …

  【God, I met Shan Tiantian today, and he gave me a letter from Luvis, saying that he would invite me to dinner another day. I'm starting to look forward to that day. What day is 'another day'? ] Lin Guang's voice.

  …

  【God, several years have passed, and 'another day' still hasn't come. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  …

  【God, I have taken in many children, they are so noisy all day and all night, I can't sleep. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  …

  【God, he showed up at the dinner party today, he looked very tired, I followed him secretly and helped him kill some people who wanted to attack him, although he didn't know it. ] Lin Guang's voice.

  …

  【God, I started shooting myself in recent years, but I can't feel anything but pain, why? Obviously some humans laughed so happily when they shot at themselves. 】

  【It is difficult for me to perceive positive emotions. Distorted negative emotions are always with me. I don't understand why I laugh when I'm happy, and I don't understand why my companions cry when they die. 】

  【If I could have met him earlier, would he and I... be different? 】

  …

  【…】

  【It hurts so much. 】

  …

  【God, Theretia died for him. 】

  …

  【Su Xiaobi jumped down for him. 】

  …

  【I didn't expect Yaowen to be a traitor. 】

  …

  【Noah persisted for a long time in the end. 】

  …

  【It's ironic that Sen actually died in the church. 】

  …

  【It's so cold. 】

  …

  【The painting is gone. 】

  …

  【I saw him. 】

  …

  【He still hates me. 】

  …

  【God, I listened to you and saved so many people I hate, but no one saved me. 】

  【I drew 1,200 paintings for him, all of which were burned. 】

  【The more than 100 hours of live video tapes I left behind are gone. 】

  【I grew strawberries, but now the garden is not mine. I tried to find roses, but there are very few flowers in this world. 】

  【I wanted to find painting tools, but the last pair of painting tools was also blown up. They called me a devil. 】

  【If even he fears me and hates me, I will have nothing left. 】

  【God, I don’t want to call you a **** anymore. To me, he is more like a new little god—the **** who redeemed me, the **** who kept me alive. 】

  【Doesn’t it hurt to get and lose again? 】

  【But haven’t I never even “got”? 】

  【I saved so many people, but no one came back to save me. 】

  …

  【New God. 】

  【I have never been saved. 】

  【...Save me once, okay? 】

  …

"Da da da."

  The overlapping and messy memory images made Su Mingan keep backing away, and he retreated to the edge of the window.

  In a trance, there seemed to be a figure wearing a Hanfu. The white embroidery of pine cranes and bamboo leaves was reflected on the cloth. That person stayed silently in the rain, holding an oil-paper umbrella.

  Blood flowers spread in the water one after another, the figure in Hanfu moved slightly, turned his head to the side, and looked at Su Mingan with dull eyes.

  Su Mingan saw this familiar look.

   It made him think,

  He almost broke down.

  …

  (end of this chapter)