Chapter 785 Chapter seven hundred and eighty-four "?"

["Which of these two was duplicated, who disappeared? Who smiled with two smiles? Who spoke in place of two voices? Who nodded for two heads? Another man's skin? Who is still alive, who is dead, entangled in whose palm?"]

  【—"Szymborska Poems"】

  …

  …

  【Today is the 32nd year since the catastrophe, first encounter. 】

  【He has an amiable aura about him. I seem to understand who I have been waiting for. I invited him to walk with me and he wasn't afraid of me, it was the perfect start, sure we would be great friends until the end of my life year. 】

  …

"Da da da."

  Su Mingan stepped back step by step, his vision swirled and tilted in resonance, and countless emotions collided in his brain.

  Heavy rain, red blood, blue blood, smashed experimental liquid, sludge, dust, splashed broken ginkgo leaves... He could only see these things.

  Until the back heel was empty, he immediately grasped the raised glass next to it to prevent it from falling, and blood flowed down the palm of his hand.

  He couldn't hear the voices of Captain Mu and Xiaomei, only the shadowy voice of Lin Guang was left in his ears.

  The impact of this emotional resonance far exceeded his ability to resist.

  ...Because there is almost no similarity between him and Lin Guang. Totally different emotional resonance from Aktor.

  Lin Guang stood in the hall with his head slightly lowered. Even the expression lost its sense of reality, and the shadows covered the only facial features, like a static stone sculpture.

  …

  【That night, I saw him through the window of the City of Gods. He was packing paints in Qiuli's room, what's so good about those gouaches? 】

  【He must be cold. 】

  【I'm going to find him. 】

  …

  The scarlet, entangled hose tangles crazily behind Lin Guang, like wheat waves under repeated autumn winds. His fingers seem to be held by the evening wind, subconsciously bent, but he can't hold anything.

  He looked at Su Mingan who was standing on the edge of the window.

  Su Mingan, whose whole body was covered in blood.

  Su Mingan with hazy eyes.

  Su Mingan who is only one step away from falling.

  Su Mingan looks very painful.

  Lin Guang felt a subtle joy in his heart.

  Like an innocent child, he felt the joy of revenge, and also felt the unspeakable sourness and pain. Obviously he is very happy, but also very sad. He seems to have felt this feeling many times.

  When he shot himself, when he pinched his neck, what he felt was this kind of emotion mixed with joy and pain.

  Because I have never experienced many emotions, and I don’t know their definitions, so I can’t judge what they are.

   What distinguishes humans from animals is not their natural attributes, but their social attributes. Social attributes arise from the interaction between people, such as communication, walking, and cooperation. Only by constantly summing up the experience of these things can people become more and more like "people".

   But he didn't.

   He doesn't look like that at all.

  …

  【I crawl towards him. 】

  【He actually smiled. 】

  【It’s funny to see me dying on the ground? 】

  【I took a walk with him last night, and he was obviously very happy. If he likes the scenery before the cataclysm of the century, he doesn’t need that Qiu Li to paint. I can show him as much as I want. I already understand that the reason why I want to find someone with black hair and gray eyes so much is to meet him. 】

  【I want to tell him that I want to be friends with him. But his gun was pointed at me. 】

【why? 】

  【…】

  【Just because I have the logo of "Faction Boss" in his field of vision? 】

  【So I can't have good intentions for him? 】

  【So he must reject me? 】

  …

【I understand. 】

  【The gods told me—just order the beacon gathering place and let them hand him over directly. It turns out that this is the correct way to make friends. 】

  …

  Lin Guang walked towards Su Mingan.

   "Lin Guang, do you have to do this?"

  Su Mingan's voice was very soft and slow, and could even be called kind. In those years of the War of Dawn, when spreading the Lighthouse Cult, Su Mingan used this soft tone of storytelling, which was extremely confusing.

"You are the person Akto trusts the most, you have the highest administrator authority, and you are the only one who can compete with the gods. If you do anything to me again, there will be no hope for the ruined world." Su Mingan said softly: " You are his best companion, don't let him down."

  Lin Guang stopped.

  They looked at each other at a distance of about ten steps, and Lin Guang suddenly said:

   "...then why didn't you say that sooner?"

  Su Mingan said "huh?" very lightly, as if to comfort a restless pet.

   "Why didn't you... say that earlier?" Lin Guang said.

  His voice became hoarse, as if a heavy weight settled in his pupils.

"If you can treat me earlier, treat me with such a gentle tone. If you can obey me a little, give me a little warmth, smile at me like you treat your companions, and promise to be friends with me." Lin Guanglow said, "Are we going to become like this?"

  Su Mingan's pupils trembled, and after a while, he said softly:

"meeting."

  Because that's who you are.

   Lack of emotions, no basic three views and bottom line, if you are slightly bewitched by the gods, you will do the most terrifying things. There is a **** in my ear, how can you be friends with me.

  No matter what I do to you, we will get to where we are now. The calculation of the gods is like this, leaving no gaps.

   "No." Lin Guang persistently denied, "There must be a possibility for us to become good friends."

   "32 years since the catastrophe, if I want your city of gods, will you agree?" Su Mingan said suddenly.

   "..." Lin Guang's expression trembled violently, and after a while, he said tremblingly, "No."

   "The 49th year of the catastrophe, if I ask you to stop the nuclear explosion, will you agree?" Su Mingan asked again.

  Lin Guang clenched his fists: "...No."

   "The 63rd year of the catastrophe, if I want you to tell me all the secrets you hide, will you agree?" Su Mingan asked the third question.

  Lin Guang lowered his head: "No."

   "Then..." Su Mingan softly asked the fourth question: "In the 71st year of the catastrophe, I want you to retreat now and don't join forces with the gods. Will you agree?"

  Long silence.

  Four questions, none of which Linguang can give a definite answer to. And these four questions are the goals that Su Mingan must achieve.

  How could they have the same position. Fundamentally, there is an inevitable contradiction.

  How could they be friends.

   "Every time I beg you to come with me, to get you out of the fire pit of Doomsday City, you refuse to agree. In the end, as I expected, you were betrayed by humans again and again." After a while, Lin Guang said:

   "But when they ask you to stay, ask you to take care of them, you always stay without hesitation and don't go with me. It seems like I am the pit of fire here."

   "You don't give me any warmth, you only start persuading me when you need me. I am like a tool to you."

  When Lin Guang said this, he suddenly stretched out his hand. Su Mingan just wanted to back away, but found that Lin Guang just stretched out his hand.

  Like crazy, Lin Guang peeled off the Hanfu on his body, revealing the shoulders, forearms, abdomen... the bandages that ooze blood, and the bruises on the neck. The bright red blood oozes out with the movement, staining the bandage like a blood-stained white rose.

  Su Mingan watched this scene vigilantly, only then did he realize that Lin Guang was seriously injured, with wounds all over his body.

  Who can hurt Lin Guang?

"I seem to have told you more than once, don't treat me as an NPC." Lin Guang pulled the blood-stained bandage, and whispered: "But your attitude has always been the same. Treat me like an animal Mad beast—you never considered that I might have no ill intentions for you."

   "Of course I've considered it." Su Mingan said softly, "You crushed my thoughts with your own hands."

   "The gods told me that this is the right thing to do. I don't know how to do it will hurt you." Lin Guang said.

   "A ferocious beast driven by people." Su Mingan said, "Isn't it a ferocious beast?"

  He squeezed his fingers together, the glass wound on his palm was still bleeding.

   "You sewed up the wound you caused." Su Mingan raised his tone again: "Does it mean that no harm has been done?"

  Lin Guang's expression cracked.

  He seemed to realize something, and looked at Su Mingan with dull eyes, as if begging Su Mingan not to continue talking.

  Don't...continue.

please.

   "If you are really Lu Shu..." Su Mingan said loudly, he clenched his fists, forgetting that the wound was still bleeding, and the ending sound was as sharp as a knife:

   "—After forty years of doing those things, can you still be Lu Shu?"

  The reason why people are human is that they are connected by social relations with each other. When this kind of social relationship and experience is gone, then this person can no longer be the person in the social relationship.

   At this moment,

  A tight string on Lin Guang's body broke with his cracked expression.

  …

  【I looked down on this world like a god, never thought that one day I would be as humble as a mouse in the gutter. 】

  【I used to not understand what "friend" means or what "loneliness" is. All I can perceive is despair and numbness. Finally, I can feel a little bit of happiness, and I want to keep it. 】

【but why…】

  【Can't do it? 】

  …

"it is good."

  At this moment, Lin Guang's voice was very quiet. He stood where he was, like a lonely tree.

  A bleak smile appeared on his pale face, like a rotten tree that was overwhelmed and finally broke.

   "It's still Lu Shu."

   "It's still... Lu Shu."

  His fingers touched his left chest and tore off the bandage there. Then, his fingers were close to the skin there, his nails embedded, and he started to tear the skin on his left chest. Blood flowed along the nails and seeped into the crevices of the nails, flowing between his fingers.

  Looking at this scene, Su Mingan felt that Lin Guang's actions were ridiculous. He moved to the right step by step, calling "Mu team" in a low voice.

  The text flashing in front of him seemed to be Team Mu's response, but Su Mingan couldn't see clearly due to overlapping visual and auditory hallucinations.

   Wave after wave, the overly strong emotional resonance overwhelmed all his senses, as if there was a figure in Hanfu standing silently in the rain, holding an oil-paper umbrella.

  Blood flowers spread in the water, and the figure in the Hanfu moved slightly, with his head raised, and he didn't know where he was looking.

  【Does it still make sense? 】

  【You must never give up. 】

  【It doesn’t matter if you are shot, pierced by a sword, pushed off a train, or burned by flames. 】

  【It doesn’t matter if you are misunderstood or hated. 】

  【You must never give up. 】

  …

  In the endless hallucinations, Su Mingan even saw a white-haired figure standing indoors under the dim light. He put the dry ink couplets into the travel backpack; arranged the flute scores one by one; sorted the ginkgo leaves that he wrote in the diary according to the year, and locked them in the cabinet one by one; Clinking knots.

   "Look, I will go to you on my next trip. This is the flute I plan to give you."

  The white-haired young man was half-arranged, holding a flute, talking to himself in the air, with a warm satisfaction in his expression.

  It seems that there is really a friend in the air, who communicates with him on weekdays and cares about him all the time.

But in fact,

  No one.

   Then, it all turned into a conflagration, burning up all contentment. In the midst of the fire, only the voice of the arson mercenary calling him a devil.

  …

  【Does it still make sense? 】

  【You must never give up. 】

  …

  【—Grandma, I saved you, can you answer me, what is love? 】

  【—Lin Guang! the devil! leave me alone! leave me alone! 】

  …

  【—In the future, you will rarely come to this kind of place full of strange beasts. You are the head of the mercenary group, so you should know a lot. Can you answer me, what is love? 】

  【—Lin Guang, although we are grateful to you for saving me. But please leave, let others see me standing with you, and I won't be able to be the head of the mercenary group. 】

  …

  【—Little girl, the robbers have been driven away by me, can you answer me, what is love? 】

【-You are! It's the bad guy my mom keeps me away from! You are Lin Guang! I have seen your portrait! Mom, save me! 】

  …

"Da da da."

  In the hallucination, Su Mingan saw thousands of ginkgo leaves like butterfly wings. The cold wind blew these "butterflies" away, and countless golden leaves "sanded" like stars.

  The white-haired agent stood at the gate of the garden villa, and the white grid surrounded the lights, shining the clear water, like a long bridge of water and light.

  His expression was stunned, an expression that could not understand everything.

  No basic thinking logic, unable to perceive positive emotions, unable to communicate reasonably with others, unable to love or be loved. Just like a person who lost his five senses at birth, he was covered in a black shell, and his behavior was always mixed with innocence and cruelty.

   Then, he turned his head and looked at Su Mingan, as if he saw a living butterfly hidden among thousands of ginkgo leaves.

   A smile appeared on his pale face:

   "xxx."

   "xxxx?"

  …

  (end of this chapter)